In the modern world, the concept of a strong and independent woman is usually attached to those women who have become successful in the workplace. Many women now serve as doctors, lawyers, and CEOs of very large corporations. They are breaking out on their own, climbing the corporate ladder and fulfilling their ambitions.
Up until recent times, women traditionally played the role of the devoted housewife. They maintained the house, cooked all the meals, and raised the children while the husbands were out pursuing their careers and supporting the family. Women were completely dependent on their husbands for their livelihoods. The modern day career woman is considered strong because she has broken out on her own, and isn’t dependent on anyone. Breaking into the workplace is not an easy thing to do for a woman, and it requires great strength to be successful in such an arena predominated by men. Due to the economic climate, many women today manage a career and support a family at the same time.
This change in gender roles occurred gradually over time and really took hold during the feminist movement of the 1960s. Feminism taught women that they were equal to men in all respects and that they didn’t have to abide by the traditional roles imposed by society. Women were encouraged to pursue careers instead of raising families. They were taught to be independent of men.
“O you, pure-hearted one, surely shall I become sinless if I follow my husband, out of affection, for my husband is my Divinity.” (Sita Devi speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, Sec 27)
Sita Devi was the incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi that appeared in Mithila many thousands of years ago. Lord Krishna had decided to appear on earth in the form of Lord Rama to kill the evil demon Ravana. Upon descending to earth, He brought with Him His entourage consisting of various demigods, including Lord Shesha Naga, who appeared as His younger brother Lakshmana, and Goddess Lakshmi, who appeared as Sita. Lakshmi is always serving God in the spiritual world, so she naturally performed the same role while in the material world. Sita was married to Rama, and the two were enjoying blissful married life in the kingdom of Ayodhya, which was ruled by Rama’s father, Maharaja Dashratha.
One may ask how she could be such a strong woman while being treated like a princess. According to the Vedas, when a husband and wife are married, the wife is instructed to view her husband as her God, pati (meaning “Lord” or “Master”). She is to perform worship for him daily, and serve him throughout her life. By being steadfastly devoted to her husband, family life is peaceful, which leaves more time for God realization. The scriptural injunctions say that a husband and wife share in the merits of their actions in this life and the next life. If the husband is very pious and devoted to Krishna, then the wife will follow Him to the spiritual world after death. By the same token, if the husband is sent to hell, the wife must follow him there as well. So it is in the best interests of the wife to ensure that her husband is happy and sticking to the path of devotion.
“Being fearless in your company, Oh my intelligent husband and great hero, I shall behold on all sides ponds filled with wild geese and ducks and beautified with a collection of full-blown lotuses, and shall bathe there every day, pursuing the same vow with you…” (Sita Devi speaking to Lord Rama, Vm, Ayodhya Kand, Sec 27)
Sita’s fearlessness came from being completely devoted to Lord Rama. As part of His pastimes, the Lord voluntarily accepted the punishment of exile to the forest by His father King Dashratha. Dashratha had initially planned on installing Rama as the new king, but due to a prior misjudgment, the king was instead forced to send Rama to live as a recluse in the wilderness for fourteen years without any access to the kingdom. The Lord, being completely devoted to His father, gladly accepted the decree. When He went to tell Sita the bad news, she insisted on accompanying Him, going against her husband’s wishes.
This one event represents the glory and strength of Sita Devi. It would have been very easy for her to remain in the kingdom. After all, her husband had requested it. Living a life of luxury, she easily could have waited out the fourteen years without suffering any material discomfort. Instead, she demanded the Lord take her to the forest, where she would live amongst the wild animals, walking on the bare ground with thorns pricking the soles of her delicate feet. In the modern age, we become panic-stricken when there is a loss of electricity for any extended period. We can’t even imagine spending life in the wilderness. From time to time we may go camping as a means of “roughing it”, but these trips only last a few days, and we know that we will return to the luxuries of our home very soon. Sita knew that this exile period would last for fourteen years, yet she had no qualms about going. The Lord tried His best to dissuade her, but she put forth such cogent and persuasive arguments, that He was forced to acquiesce.
“You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.” (Lord Krishna, Bg. 2.47)
The aim of our life should be to make ourselves detached from material nature, and at the same time, become attached to God. True independence can only be achieved when we surrender everything unto Krishna and rely on Him for everything. This liberates us from the clutches of maya, God’s illusory energy in charge of tricking us into believing that we are God.
