māṃ hi dharmātmanaḥ patnīṃ śacīmiva śacīpateḥ |
tvadanyastriṣu lokeṣu prārthayenmanasāpi kaḥ ||
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Householder life embodies a material existence. Though ideally this stage of life is meant to be an ashrama, one where spiritual realization is furthered, it is a time where enjoyments for the senses are available in the largest quantities. The householder lacking a spiritual consciousness is always contemplating how to enjoy eating. “Where will I eat tonight? What will I cook for dinner?” The hosting area is also of tremendous importance. This is the headquarters for enjoyment. So naturally other questions are, “What kind of house can I find? How many rooms is enough? Can I get a bigger house than my friend?”
If I know nothing of spirit due to the fact that I am illusioned by the temporary manifestation covering myself today, I’ll mistake dharma for a system used to gain material benefits. “I worship God so that I can get stuff. The goal is to get stuff, not really to worship. I worship every now and then, but not too much. I don’t want to make it a fulltime thing. I think that eating, sleeping, and mating are the most important things in life. Since I can only enjoy in this life, defending is also essential.”
This is a misunderstanding because the purpose to following dharma is to regain one’s essence. In that pure consciousness, there is hardly any desire to enjoy the senses. Therefore renunciation is a natural byproduct of following dharma. In the pure state, there is devotion to the Almighty, the source of all matter and spirit. His association is the ultimate reward of dharma; it is the fruit of all mysticism, work, and study. His association is then maintained through devotion. There is no other way to keep Him by one’s side.
Ravana couldn’t understand Sita’s consciousness. He took her by force back to his kingdom of Lanka, hoping she would agree to become his chief queen. She kept refusing him, and so he kept upping the offer. He thought that maybe she was playing hard to get. Perhaps she was negotiating for a better deal. Ravana considered eating succulent meats, drinking fine wine, and enjoying with many women to be the summit of an existence, the best it has to offer. He had previously engaged in rigorous austerities in what appeared to be part of a life in dharma. He had a specific purpose in mind, however. He wanted strength which he could then use to rule the world. Thus his understanding of dharma was not right.
He couldn’t understand why Sita kept rejecting him. She tried her best to explain it to him. Rama was a dharma-atma, a soul who knew the principles of righteousness. If she was His wife, it meant she knew those principles as well. In the material sense, the guiding principle for a wife is devotion to her husband. At least this is the case in ideal circumstances. The husband and wife share in spiritual merits, so if the wife can support the husband in following dharma, she benefits tremendously.
Sita compares her situation to Shachi Devi’s. Shachi is the wife of Lord Indra, the king of heaven. No one would think of taking her, since everyone knows that her heart is given over to Indra. What enjoyment would you get from someone who doesn’t want anything to do with you? Using force in such a case would be a waste of time.
In Closing:
Having husband of pious soul,
She too righteous in wife’s role.
Only when one in depths to sink,
That to have as wife they’d think.
Dharma not for my material gain,
Or simply to ease unwanted pain.
Love for Rama Sita’s only way to be,
Deluded soul Ravana fact could not see.
