Five Kinds Of Envy That Surprise Me

“In the way that parents intervene when the children play with a snake or put a hand in fire, Sita and Rama are like the mother and father who protect Tulsidas in the manner of a small child.” (Dohavali, 147)

Download this episode (right click and save)

खेलत बालक ब्याल सँग मेलत पावक हाथ
तुलसी सिसु पितु मातु ज्यों राखत सिय रघुनाथ

khelata bālaka byāla sa~ga melata pāvaka hātha
tulasī sisu pitu mātu jyoṃ rākhata siya raghunātha

1. Towards a job

“You know, I was pretty happy. I consider myself self-made in this field. I was not formally trained in the discipline. I got a late start in life. Through good fortune, through some family connections, I landed an entry-level position in the field. It was a difficult beginning, with many struggles. I wanted to quit so many times. I felt so incapable, like I was the biggest imposter known to man.

“Well, recently I landed a well-paying job in the field. I did so on my own, without any connections. I beat out many competitors, as all the candidates were tested on their skills. I scored the highest marks, but it seems that others are not happy for me, at all. These are supposedly my friends, mind you. My family members, too. I don’t understand this. It makes no sense. It is not like I make more money than them. This is something good that occurred in my life recently, but I now realize it is better to keep these things to myself.”

2. Towards a video game achievement

“We were playing the game together. We had for many days, in fact. To me, there was no sense of rivalry. I hoped only for the best for my friend. When it was my turn, I ended up doing very well. I reached the highest score, and it was posted inside of the leaderboard within the game itself.

“Well, my friend was not happy at all. They kept making excuses throughout the day. I had moved on from the experience, but they kept bringing up how lucky I got. Then they turned to a sour grapes justification, saying that the game was not very good to begin with. I almost wished I had never played with them.”

3. Towards a weekend adventure

“It was an impromptu adventure. We went out for the weekend. We ended up travelling a great distance to see a show many miles away. It was so much fun that I had to tell my friends about it when I reached back home. I went over every detail.

“Well, it turns out they have no interest. They are not happy for me in the least. They have never been on such trips, and so they were upset that I got to experience it. What a strange feeling for me. I did not see that coming.”

4. Towards their own children

“Parenting is difficult enough for me. I am always looking for ways to ease the burden, to keep everyone happy. I thought the easiest way is to have my kids spend time with other kids. Even easier if those other kids have parents that I am really good friends with.

“Well, in this crazy world in which we live, there is no limit to the emergence of envy. It will strike in the oddest of places. I can reach no other conclusion but to say that these parents are envious of their own children. That is the only explanation for the behavior I witnessed.

“As soon as they saw their kids independently happy, playing with other children, they had enough. They pulled the plug. These children are really young, mind you. It is not like they should have been sitting in school. It was the summer months, during vacation. I have no reasonable explanation for this. How miserable of a person do you have to be to steal childhood memories from innocent people, all so you can feel better about yourself?”

5. Towards a kingdom of their husband

This occurred one time in the kingdom of Ayodhya, as described in the Ramayana history. No one saw it coming. It was a strange occurrence, but one instigated by an assistant to one of the queens. Kaikeyi had her own son born through the king. Bharata was one of the four sons to King Dasharatha. Shri Rama was the eldest, and He was born to Queen Kausalya. Lakshmana and Shatrughna were born to Queen Sumitra.

Kaikeyi became so envious of the throne, in knowing that Rama was set to succeed Dasharatha, that she insisted on Bharata jumping the line of succession. She made this request without consulting Bharata. Her son would never have agreed to the proposal, but he was out of town when the events transpired.

कामार्तस्तु महातेजाः पिता दशरथस्स्वयम्
कैकेय्याः प्रियकामार्थं तं रामं नाभ्यषेचयत्

kāmārtastu mahātejāḥ pitā daśarathassvayam
kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmārthaṃ taṃ rāmaṃ nābhyaṣecayat

“Being under the control of passion and lust, Rama’s father, Maharaja Dasharatha, wanted to fulfill Kaikeyi’s cherished desire, thus he did not go through with Rama’s installation ceremony.” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.12)

There was so much heartache, sadness, despair, and tragedy in the aftermath. The rise of envy in a single person ended up doing so much damage in Ayodhya. It was a place otherwise known for dharma, for mutual understanding and cooperation, and especially for the unwavering support shown to Rama, who is considered an incarnation of Vishnu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

Goswami Tulsidas explains that the devoted souls are protected by the same Rama, along with His wife Sita, in the manner that loving parents guard their children. The parents in that case do not have to provide extended justifications. They do not have to bargain with the children to sleep on time, to buckle up in the car seat, or to finish the food on their plate. Rather, they insist on the proper behavior, in the manner of keeping a child out of dangerous interactions, such as with snakes or fire.

This protection extends into adulthood and old age. The wise understand that there is danger at every turn. To expect decency out of others, who are not in line with dharma, or who have briefly lost their way, is not wise. But Sita and Rama will always protect. They will always keep the surrendered soul aligned with the proper goal, which is liberation in the afterlife.

In Closing:

Extended protection to find,
That always with dharma to align.

Despite my protests giving,
With this oversight living.

From Sita-Rama surrendered to,
Like loving parents who.

From danger away snakes and fire,
There no matter what to transpire.