If You Have No Other Shelter

“For as long as there is not devotion to Shri Rama and the release of material desires, which are like an abode of grief, the living being should not expect to find welfare and peace of mind, even in a dream.” (Dohavali, 131)

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तब लगि कुसल न जीव कहुँ सपनेहुँ मन बिश्राम
जब लगि भजत न राम कहुँ सोकधाम तजि काम

taba lagi kusala na jīva kahum̐ sapanehum̐ mana biśrāma
jaba lagi bhajata na rāma kahum̐ sokadhāma taji kāma

“Let me share with you my mental exercise of late. I am not sure what made me go down this route initially, but it is likely because I prefer to avoid the easy route in life. When things start to get too comfortable. When I see others ignoring important issues that should be considered, discussed, deliberated upon, and solved.

“What I have been doing is putting myself into someone else’s shoes. I try to pick people who are suffering from tremendous trauma. The worst possible things happened to them. The tragedies are real, though rare for others to experience. Some are not as obvious, as others. I tend to focus on the less-obvious tragedies.

“For instance, lately I have considered the plight of the person who was abandoned at childhood. Instead of having an abortion, the mother decided to give the baby up for adoption. Okay, most of the time that is a difficult decision. There is an incessant flow of tears. There is constant regret. There is perhaps a calling later on in life to connect with that child, to bridge the gap in separation.

“But what if the mother has no regrets? What if they want nothing to do with the child? What if that child has no other support system? They are literally all alone in this world. No one will ever care for them the way parents are known to show support. Is that not tragic? We carry so much strength based on the love we receive from our parents, from our brothers and sisters, and from our well-wishers.

“How are these people supposed to get ahead in life when they are set back right from the start? Is it not the worst reality to know for certain that your parents don’t care about you? Those parents are interested only in themselves. They would rather enjoy the senses than step up and be responsible. How could God ever allow such a thing? Why would the child in this case ever grow up to believe in God?”

This is the nature of the playing field. Goswami Tulsidas accurately depicts material existence as shokadhama. It is a resting place of misery. Repeatedly experienced misery, in fact. From the time of birth until the very end. When we find happiness, we are only fooling ourselves. It is more like a brief period of relief, as the potential for terrible conditions to emerge is steady. That potential never goes away.

“The threefold miseries are (1) those miseries which arise from the mind and body, (2) those miseries inflicted by other living beings, and (3) those miseries arising from natural catastrophes over which one has no control.” (Shrila Prabhupada, Shrimad Bhagavatam, 1.1.2 Purport)

We don’t have to look far to imagine such a situation, as some saintly people of the past grew up as orphans. They had no one to look after them as children. By some good fortune, they held onto the holy name. By repeating the name of Rama, for instance, an abandoned child would draw the attention of a spiritual master. That guru would extend his infinite compassion to the child, raising them like a son; even one day offering a name that represented devotion to Tulasi Devi, who is a goddess beloved to Vishnu, the Supreme Lord.

There are many other cases where the loving family turns inimical. Those children we sacrificed so much for. That spouse who we care so much about. They only want to exploit. They want to take. They are never satisfied. It is like the more we give to them, the less they appreciate us.

If we should happen to find ourselves in isolation, devoid of the association of friends or family, with no one interested in our welfare, hope is not lost. The constant companion is Supersoul, or Paramatma. This is one way to understand the mercy of the Almighty. Whether we are high or low, coming or going, with friends or all alone, God is close by. Whether we are inside of the temple or not, living in a sacred place or one completely lacking compassion to the most vulnerable population of creatures, we can maintain the association of our greatest well-wishing friend.

दंपति रस रसना दसन परिजन बदन सुगेह
तुलसी हर हित बरन सिसु संपति सहज सनेह

daṃpati rasa rasanā dasana parijana badana sugeha
tulasī hara hita barana sisu saṃpati sahaja saneha

“The tongue and its taste are the husband and wife, the teeth are the relatives, and the mouth is the beautiful home. Lord Shiva’s cherished syllables [Ra + ma] are the children, and natural love for them is the wealth, says Tulsi.” (Dohavali, 24)

In Closing:

Thinking of orphan’s plight,
How alone in this world to fight.

But sometimes even family against,
On causing disturbance bent.

If ever feeling isolated and alone,
The greatest friend still known.

Who by His name quickly can reach,
Greatest well-wishers to teach.