Five Conditions I Am Eager To Sign Up For

“Others will also ridicule and scorn saying, ‘This child is an asura but prays to the gods. It is like a cat offering prayers to a mouse or a peacock to a snake.’ This is indeed a bad omen, behavior resembling an enemy, as even after obtaining great wealth and power, an unintelligent person can fall down.” (Hiranyakashipu speaking to Prahlada, Narasimha Purana, 41.59-60)

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अन्येपि त्वां हनिष्यन्ति वदिष्यन्ति जनास्त्विदम्
असुरोयं सुरांस्तौति मार्जार इव मूषकान्
द्वेष्यान् शिखीव फणिनो दुर्निमित्तमिदं ध्रुवम्
लब्ध्वापि महदैश्वर्यं लाघवं यान्त्यबुद्धयः

anyepi tvāṃ haniṣyanti vadiṣyanti janāstvidam
asuroyaṃ surāṃstauti mārjāra iva mūṣakān
dveṣyān śikhīva phaṇino durnimittamidaṃ dhruvam
labdhvāpi mahadaiśvaryaṃ lāghavaṃ yāntyabuddhayaḥ

1. Endless flesh

“Hold on. You mean to say that I will get to consume as much as I want? It will be like visits to that one particular restaurant. You know, the one where they bring out the giant carcass for you, to your table. They ask which section you would like cut off, to be prepared for your meal.

“You are saying that I will be able to enjoy without limits. No concern over price controls. No worry about shortages. No disruptions to the supply chain. No fighting over the meat, like a pack of dogs huddled around the dumpster in the back of a restaurant, late at night when the owner throws out the leftovers after closing. To your proposal, I would say, ‘Sign me up!’”

2. Endless intoxicating beverages

“Have you ever attended one of these professional conferences? I think they are more common nowadays, given the transition to jobs in the technology sector. The coordinators are clever about it. They host the events in places you would otherwise consider going on vacation for, such as Las Vegas and Orlando. In other words, if the sessions at the conference get to be too boring, feel free to skip out and enjoy yourself out on the town. No one will know that you are absent, since your company likely footed the bill for the entire trip.

“Well, one of the hot commodities at these conferences is the drink voucher. You get a limited number, you see, to be redeemed for your adult beverage of choice during one of the nightly festivities. You mean to tell me that my entire life will be open bar. I will get an endless supply of vouchers? I can drink as much as I want, without worrying about the latest sales or emptying out my bank account? To your proposal, I would say, ‘Sign me up!’”

3. Endless companionship

“People can’t seem to make up their minds. First, they want to enjoy. They are afraid of being tied down, of locking into commitment. Then, as they get older, they lament the lack of steady companionship. They want to settle down, to start a family. By that point, the herd becomes rather thin. There is not much left to choose from.

“You mean to tell me that I won’t have to worry in this area. I will have the most beautiful people right next to me, ready to serve. They will be kind, dutiful, loyal, and helpful? To me, that is like winning the lottery in life. This is one of the biggest pain points, as the dance required to get a relationship with a solid foundation is too tricky to navigate. To your proposal, I would say, ‘Sign me up!’”

4. Endless power

“If I were to dabble in the field of psychology, at the amateur level, my assessment of these titans of industry is that they are incredibly insecure. They seem to feel the need to prove themselves, to show just how much power they wield. They fail to realize that their desperation is obvious. The more they want you to think they are powerful, the more of a beggar they come off as.

“You mean to say that I will have power that rivals that of the greatest business tycoon. I will have the most power in the world, in fact? I think so many people are after that. They don’t want to be subject to the next round of layoffs. They don’t want to constantly look over their shoulder, to see if they will be able to pay the next month’s mortgage or rent. To your proposal, I would say, ‘Sign me up!’”

5. Endless authority

“You can have power, but will people listen to you? They always have the option to ignore. For instance, I have never heard of so many prominent people these days. The top-selling recording artist. The person with the highest net worth, based on a hypothetical liquidation of assets in publicly traded companies. The leader of this nation and that.

“I have no clue who these people are. You mean to say that I will get to make orders that people will be forced to listen to. No one will be able to ignore me. They will have to listen? That sounds amazing. To your proposal, I would say, ‘Sign me up!’”

…

While each of the above would represent an exceptional achievement in isolation, imagine if every single condition were met. In a single lifetime. Within a single individual. They have every enjoyment imaginable. The proposal of heaven means nothing to them since what can be more heavenly than what they already have?

Consider at the same time that such individuals have roamed the earth in the past. The Daitya leader named Hiranyakashipu comes to mind. If we want to reflexively dismiss any of the accounts in Vedic literature as mythology, then we can at least continue in the discussion in the hypothetical sense. If we think Hiranyakashipu never existed, then imagine that someone reached the same level of prominence.

Shrimad Bhagavatam describes that Hiranyakashipu was not happy. He was not completely at peace, santosha. There is a specific reason. It is not that there was any kind of enjoyment missing. Every condition we mentioned previously was satisfied. He was the leader of the Daityas, and at that time the entire universe was afraid of him.

स इत्थं निर्जितककुबेकराड् विषयान् प्रियान्
यथोपजोषं भुञ्जानो नातृप्यदजितेन्द्रिय:

sa itthaṁ nirjita-kakub
eka-rāḍ viṣayān priyān
yathopajoṣaṁ bhuñjāno
nātṛpyad ajitendriyaḥ

“In spite of achieving the power to control in all directions and in spite of enjoying all types of dear sense gratification as much as possible, Hiranyakashipu was dissatisfied because instead of controlling his senses he remained their servant.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 7.4.19)

Hiranyakashipu was miserable because of the condition known as ajitendriyah. This compound Sanskrit word translates to “conquered by the senses.” Though the king was defeating others, he was defeated within. The senses had conquered him instead of the other way around. He was always agitated, though he supposedly had no reason to be. No sane person struggling in the world of today would think that his situation was a curse.

Except that it was. There was a visible manifestation of that agitation in the form of the son named Prahlada. Only five years of age, the child had an inclination which drove the father crazy. Prahlada was naturally attracted to worship of Vishnu. Prahlada considered Vishnu to be both the source of strength in everyone and the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

Hiranyakashipu could not believe this. He warned Prahlada that the other children in school would mock his choice. They would liken the practice to a snake being honored by a peacock or a mouse receiving prayers in reverence from a cat. The father considered Vishnu to be weak. Only the weak would worship someone like Vishnu. The powerful should strive to be like the leader of the Daityas. Prahlada was the son in that kingdom, and so his goals in life should align with the father’s.

This review shows that happiness in the life experience can never be based on temporary conditions. Neither is lasting satisfaction determined by the opportunity for the senses to be engaged. Rather, in illusion a person thinks that by exploiting more and more they will be happy. The person like Prahlada is jitendriyah, or a conqueror the senses, based on his affiliation with Vishnu, who is also known as Hrishikesha. Only by serving the one who is the master of all senses do we achieve peace for ourselves.

In Closing:

A key principle to understand,
For in peaceful condition to land.

Not on specific favors based,
Where illusory enjoyments chased.

Even the king of the world can be,
But not from sense agitation free.

Prahlada his prayers towards Vishnu directed,
Over senses command projected.