They Are Not In Competition With Him

“Of what use are wealth, comforts and pleasures, home, wives, and sons if one is not able to see Shri Rama?” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 48.7)

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किं नु तेषां गृहैः कार्यं किं दारै: किं धनेन वा
पुत्रैर्वा किं सुखैर्वापि ये न पश्यन्ति राघवम्

kiṃ nu teṣāṃ gṛhaiḥ kāryaṃ kiṃ dārai: kiṃ dhanena vā
putrairvā kiṃ sukhairvāpi ye na paśyanti rāghavam

“I know you like to reference that incident from the Ramayana where the wives are yelling at their husbands. This is in the kingdom of Ayodhya. These families are not necessarily privileged or of high status. It is like if you were conducting a poll, in taking a random sampling to survey the situation. To get an idea of the general landscape, Maharishi Valmiki takes us into some of the homes. This is during a time of great sadness, resembling the egress at a funeral.

“It is that serious, since it is now apparent that Shri Rama is gone for good. There is no turning back. There is no reversing course. The people have lost sight of that beloved prince, in fact. There was no other way. Rama had to do it. He made a fake set of tracks in order to throw the people off the trail. He was assuming the burden of the desire from Kaikeyi, who asked her husband for two things. These were like options commodities previously gifted to her. Kaikeyi, the youngest queen in Ayodhya, was calling, choosing that moment for redemption.

“The people were crestfallen. They had tried to follow Rama into the forest. They did not want Him to suffer alone. When they realized He was gone, they returned home, back to Ayodhya. The wives then admonished the husbands, for having such attachment to worldly possessions and relationships. What use was anything now that Rama was serving the exile punishment, set to last fourteen years?

“I appreciate their attachment and all, but come on! This isn’t a baby we are talking about. Rama was the eldest son of King Dasharatha. Rama had defended the munis in the forest against wicked characters like Tataka and Maricha. Rama was the only one who could lift the bow of Shiva in the contest held by King Janaka of Mithila. That is how Rama was able to marry the beloved princess named Sita.

अवजानन्नहं मोहाद्बालोऽयमिति राघवम्
विश्वामित्रस्य तां वेदिमभ्यधावं कृतत्वरः
तेन मुक्तस्ततो बाणः शितश्शत्रुनिबर्हणः
तेनाहं त्वाहतः क्षिप्तस्समुद्रे शतयोजने

avajānannahaṃ mohādbālo’yamiti rāghavam
viśvāmitrasya tāṃ vedimabhyadhāvaṃ kṛtatvaraḥ
tena muktastato bāṇaḥ śitaśśatrunibarhaṇaḥ
tenāhaṃ tvāhataḥ kṣiptassamudre śatayojane

“Being under the influence of illusion, I underestimated Rama and took Him to be a mere child. Thus I ran towards Vishvamitra’s sacrificial altar. With that, Rama released an acute arrow capable of destroying His enemies. Upon hitting me, that arrow forcefully threw me away to an ocean one hundred yojanas [eight hundred miles] away.” (Maricha speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 38.19)

“Why were these wives so upset? There was nothing to worry about. I’m pretty sure Rama could fend for Himself. Why did they need to follow Him? Just so that they could see Him? No one living in today’s world can relate. I just don’t see it. Incidents like these appear to give credibility to the criticism that people following bhakti-yoga are not so intelligent. What do you say to that? Shouldn’t these people have hung tight and waited it out? Ride out the storm until it passes, if you know what I mean.”

For starters, you try telling that to the people of Ayodhya. You try explaining to them that it is no big deal for Rama and His beloved wife to experience hardship. You tell them that it is fine to enjoy home, family, children, and possessions while someone so blameless, kind, compassionate, and thoughtful is suffering.

रामेति प्रथितो लोके गुणवान्सत्यवान्शुचिः
विशालाक्षो महाबाहुस्सर्वभूतहिते रतः

rāmeti prathito loke guṇavānsatyavānśuciḥ
viśālākṣo mahābāhussarvabhūtahite rataḥ

“My husband Rama is famous throughout the world. He is pure, truthful, and very gentle. He is mighty-armed, has wide eyes, and is always busy working for the welfare of all living beings [sarva-bhuta-hite-ratah].” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.11)

As Sita herself knows, Rama is wishing well to all living beings. Though He is an administrator of the law, not even the people apprehended by Him can say a bad word about Him.

न तं पश्याम्यहं लोके परोक्षमपि यो नरः
स्वमित्रोऽपि निरस्तोऽपि योऽस्य दोषमुदाहरेत्

na taṃ paśyāmyahaṃ loke parokṣamapi yo naraḥ
svamitro’pi nirasto’pi yo’sya doṣamudāharet

“I do not find in this world any man who can describe a fault in Him, even in His absence, be it an adversary or someone defeated.”  (Lakshmana, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 21.5)

A key distinction to help in understanding the sentiment of the wives is the lack of competition. No one in Ayodhya was competing with Rama. It is not that they were assessing the situation of the eldest son of the king against their own circumstances. It is not that they were satisfied with Rama’s ability to defend Himself. It is not that they were fine with someone else suffering, as long as everything was fine at home.

Plain and simple, the people did not want Rama to suffer. At all! They wanted only the best for Him. They could not be convinced out of their decision. Their devotion could not be removed. There was nothing the object of worship could say to change the relationship. There is a reason that such amazing individuals called Ayodhya home during the time of that celebrated avatara of Vishnu.

In Closing:

Reason there to call home,
When sun of dynasty shone.

Not by accident in that place,
Where Rama of resplendent face.

Despite knowing His qualities still,
Into despair and sadness to spill.

Because never His suffering to tolerate,
Anguish in fourteen years to wait.