He Always Wishes Me Well

“In the way that parents intervene when the children play with a snake or put a hand in fire, Sita and Rama are like the mother and father who protect Tulsidas in the manner of a small child.” (Dohavali, 147)

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खेलत बालक ब्याल सँग मेलत पावक हाथ
तुलसी सिसु पितु मातु ज्यों राखत सिय रघुनाथ

khelata bālaka byāla sa~ga melata pāvaka hātha
tulasī sisu pitu mātu jyoṃ rākhata siya raghunātha

Bhagavad-gita reveals that the individual has a constant companion. We identify the individual based on their true identity, which is spirit soul. This one individual can travel to different places, with attire to match the surroundings, in a cycle to potentially span countless lifetimes. For this reason, that individual is also known as sarva-ga. They can go anywhere and everywhere, but no matter what happens, the companion stays with them. The following hypothetical account reveals how rare it is to find this level of support anywhere else.

जल थल नभ गति अमित अति अग जग जीव अनेक
तुलसी तो से दीन कहँ राम नाम गति एक

jala thala nabha gati amita ati aga jaga jīva aneka
tulasī to se dīna kaham̐ rāma nāma gati eka

“There are an infinite number of living beings, both moving and nonmoving, who have many different abodes, with some residing in the earth, some in the sky, and some in the water. But O helpless Tulsi, for you Shri Rama’s holy name is your only home.” (Dohavali, 37)

In our story, I am loyal to another person. I have known them for a long time. We go way back, as they like to say. Whenever they need me, I am there. No questions asked. I might be put into discomfort by their requests. I may not always feel up to the task. Nevertheless, I will help. That is how much this person means to me. I harbor no ill-will. I always want the best for them.

Well, it so happens that one day there is a disagreement. This person expected something out of me. They wanted me to do such and such work for them. Apparently, I misunderstood what they were asking for. I ended up doing the opposite of what they wanted. The end result is that this person turns on me. I receive such a harsh rebuke that I will never forget it. I am perplexed as to the cause. Is there something else going on here? Is this person under stress from home, family, or work? Are they under the influence of intoxicants or newly prescribed medication?

The cause is not that important since the result is devastating. This person decides to publicly rebuke me. They spread negative rumors about me to shared friends and family. When dealing with me, they cut the conversations short. The basic formalities of asking about your day or how work is going do not apply. They have no interest in what I am doing. In fact, it seems that my discomfort brings them happiness. They hope that I find pain and misfortune.

All because of a perceived mistake. Only because of an accident on my part, they are willing to throw away years of friendship. How could anyone behave in such a way? How could they be so cruel? How could they be so petty and vindictive? What was the point to all that loyalty? Just what did my allegiance get me, in the end?

For this particular situation, we can take comfort on two fronts. The first is that pettiness is not the tendency of the wise. For the person who is in knowledge, who has their senses under control, who approaches disagreements rationally and with a level-head, there is no reason for an abrupt shift. Such a person is known as a yogi, and one of the defining characteristics is an equal vision. Not only to all living beings, but also to every kind of reception.

सुहृन्मित्रार्युदासीनमध्यस्थद्वेष्यबन्धुषु
साधुष्वपि च पापेषु समबुद्धिर्विशिष्यते

suhṛn-mitrāry-udāsīna-
madhyastha-dveṣya-bandhuṣu
sādhuṣv api ca pāpeṣu
sama-buddhir viśiṣyate

“A person is said to be still further advanced when he regards all—the honest well-wisher, friends and enemies, the envious, the pious, the sinner and those who are indifferent and impartial-with an equal mind.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 6.9)

The second front is the existence of someone who meets an unreachable standard of allegiance. In the case above, our friend turned against us. It might so happen that we end up doing the same to someone else, in the future. The name “Benedict Arnold” became synonymous with betrayal for a reason. This was a real-life person, someone now infamous from the period of the Revolutionary War in America. Traitors have existed since before anyone can remember. When the realm of the material world features choice, there will always be people who exercise the choice of reversal.

This person of steady allegiance is actually the Supreme Person. He is Bhagavan. His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada translates this Sanskrit word as “Supreme Personality of Godhead.” One way to define that individual of unlimited glories is Supersoul, or Paramatma. We are individual soul, or atma. In the conditioned state, we are jivatma. Paramatma is different in that He is just one person, but who resides alongside each jivatma.

समो ऽहं सर्व-भूतेषु
न मे द्वेष्यो ऽस्ति न प्रियः
ये भजन्ति तु मां भक्त्या
मयि ते तेषु चाप्य् अहम्

samo ‘haṁ sarva-bhūteṣu
na me dveṣyo ‘sti na priyaḥ
ye bhajanti tu māṁ bhaktyā
mayi te teṣu cāpy aham

“I envy no one, nor am I partial to anyone. I am equal to all. But whoever renders service unto Me in devotion is a friend, is in Me, and I am also a friend to him.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 9.29)

This expansion is always wishing me well. No matter what I do. No matter where I go. No matter how much I gravitate towards adharma. No matter how many thousands of years I have spent in forgetfulness. I might hate the tradition which teaches about Paramatma so much that I spit at the objects of worship, as they are displayed on the altar. I disavow ties to that religion, as I see it, which I inherited at the time of birth.

Nevertheless, that person is wishing me well. They always want the best for me. In devotion, in bhakti-yoga, I can take advantage of that kindness. Paramatma then changes from neutrality to constant oversight, perhaps even reaching the point of an unwanted burden. The devotee becomes helpless in that situation. Goswami Tulsidas compares it to the watchful eye of the parents over their beloved child.

In Closing:

Over their beloved child,
Rebuke sometimes harsh or mild.

But control either way,
As perpetual companion to stay.

One way Supersoul to understand,
Like greatest authority to command.

Still allowing me to play,
Steady friend never to betray.