Five Times I Got Burned For Telling The Truth

“The Vedas mainly deal with the subject of the three modes of material nature. Rise above these modes, O Arjuna. Be transcendental to all of them. Be free from all dualities and from all anxieties for gain and safety, and be established in the Self.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.45)

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त्रैगुण्यविषया वेदा निस्त्रैगुण्यो भवार्जुन ।
निर्द्वन्द्वो नित्यसत्त्वस्थो निर्योगक्षेम आत्मवान् ॥

trai-guṇya-viṣayā vedā
nistrai-guṇyo bhavārjuna
nirdvandvo nitya-sattva-stho
niryoga-kṣema ātmavān

His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada explains that devotional service, bhakti-yoga, brings the necessary attributes in a life experience that would be considered good or beneficial. There is no need to strive individually for each virtue; everything will be accounted for in carrying out sadhana, regulative duties, in dedication to the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

On the flip side, no matter the heights that we reach, the accomplishments to our credit, the mountains summitted, the milestones surpassed, and the accolades and honors showered upon us, if we remain in material life then we will continue to be miserable. We will fall into the delusions of “I” and “Mine.” We will swing between acceptance and rejection. We will find happiness that is based only on a paired condition of misery; we cannot be happy on our own.

यस्यास्ति भक्तिर् भगवत्य् अकिञ्चना
सर्वैर् गुणैस् तत्र समासते सुराः
हराव् अभक्तस्य कुतो महद्-गुणा
मनोरथेनासति धावतो बहिः

yasyāsti bhaktir bhagavaty akiñcanā
sarvair guṇais tatra samāsate surāḥ
harāv abhaktasya kuto mahad-guṇā
manorathenāsati dhāvato bahiḥ

“All the demigods and their exalted qualities, such as religion, knowledge and renunciation, become manifest in the body of one who has developed unalloyed devotion for the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Vasudeva. On the other hand, a person devoid of devotional service and engaged in material activities has no good qualities. Even if he is adept at the practice of mystic yoga or the honest endeavor of maintaining his family and relatives, he must be driven by his own mental speculations and must engage in the service of the Lord’s external energy. How can there be any good qualities in such a man?” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 5.18.12)

A person may argue that it is too simplistic to think devotional service will catch every error, fill every gap, and account for every deficiency. In a hypothetical case, a person strives to be honest in every way. They think there is no better way to live than to tell the truth. To them, honesty is dharma; it is the highest religion.

We can think of some commonly faced situations where telling the truth might not be the best idea. This is based on the juxtaposition. The high to the low. The dejection to the elation. The depression to the enthusiasm. The failure to the success.

1. When my wife asked how she looked in that dress

“Why am I bleeding? You ask what caused that gash on my forehead? I am not really sure what happened. Everything occurred so quickly. As you can probably tell, I was preparing for a night out, to attend a formal function. We both were, in fact. My wife and myself.

“As usual, she was taking forever to get ready. I started to press the issue. Time was of the essence, though it really wasn’t. My patience was running thin. Just before I could ask again, she came to me wearing a new dress.

“She asked a specific question. Did the dress make her look fat? I did what any honest person would do. I took a long, hard look. Front to back. Up, down, and sideways. I then told her that the dress indeed highlighted some fatty areas, especially around the belly. Next thing I know I’m seeing a glass vase heading straight for my face. Bro, why would she do that?”

2. When my wife asked about her anniversary present

“I was super pumped last night. The weekend was finally here. No more projects to think about. No worrying about the household errands. I took care of everything beforehand. I was ready for the big game, to sit on the sofa and zone out.

“Of course, a few moments after kickoff my wife enters the room. She casually asks about an anniversary present. She wants to know where hers is. She is holding a box with a bow on it. I soon realize that this is a gift for me.

“With my mind focused on the game, I reply that I completely forgot about our anniversary. I guess it is today. It totally slipped my mind. It is not like I had remembered a few days before and then forgotten. It was the furthest thing from my mind.

“Next thing I know the television is off. The remote is somewhere outside, as it took flight through the window, which is now broken. Oh well, I guess I am not watching the game tonight.”

3. When the manager asked about the software

“We were on one of those troubleshooting calls. I think ten of us in a single conference bridge, trying to fix the latest issue. At one point, one of the managers asks about the cause. They want to know why this is happening.

“I tell them that the entire application is built on a house of cards. You make the tiniest mistake here, overlook the smallest detail there, and the entire thing will collapse. I rhetorically asked what they expected to happen in such a scenario.

“Well, a few days later I get called into an impromptu meeting. They want to review my comment from the other day. What did I mean by that ‘house of cards’ remark? Anyway, I was smart enough to lie this time. I said that I was simply trying to make a joke, to lighten the mood.”

4. When I had to miss the meeting

“I skipped the morning meeting. It clashed with a meeting for my other job. I ended up telling the stakeholders about it. Wow, they were really upset. They could not believe I was working another fulltime job. I did not see the issue. It is not like anyone was getting hurt by it. I am thriving at both places.”

5. When my kid asked why I failed to bring candy from the store

“I told my child that they are eating too much candy. It is not good for their health. In response, they flipped out. They started yelling and screaming. I think I should have just said that the store was out of the particular candy they wanted. The kid is so small; what do they really know?”

…

Shri Krishna advises the same in Bhagavad-gita, to rise above material living, which has three modes. To strive for honesty is to seek ascendency in the mode of goodness, sattva-guna. But even this mode is binding. It is not perfection.

Prahlada Maharaja explains that real happiness is knowing, connecting with, and serving Shri Hari. Otherwise, we only think that we are happy. We mistakenly consider a certain virtue such as honesty to be absolute, when it is actually relative.

The Supreme Lord is the Absolute Truth. His standing is not based on conditions. Our connection to Him similarly transcends the various conditions of a material existence. He has been our greatest well-wishing friend since time immemorial, and devotional service is the way to reunite with that friend, to remain in transcendence through His association.

In Closing:

Not on conditions dependence,
When to strive for transcendence.

Above the modes to rise,
Chosen path of the wise.

Since even the truth telling,
Sometimes doom spelling.

For Hari everything to do,
Maker of auspiciousness who.