To Not Be A Disgrace

“O best among the glorious ones, all of this has been achieved by me through the divine grace of You and Your brother. One who does not repay the favors offered to him certainly is considered a disgrace among men.” (Sugriva speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Kishkindha Kand, 38.26)

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तव देव प्रसादाच्च भ्रातुश्च जयतां वर
कृतं न प्रतिकुर्याद्यः पुरुषाणां स दूषकः

tava deva prasādācca bhrātuśca jayatāṃ vara
kṛtaṃ na pratikuryādyaḥ puruṣāṇāṃ sa dūṣakaḥ

“Do you ever feel that the praise offered to the spiritual guide falls on the excessive side? This is within the devotional culture, bhakti-yoga. The practice is not new. You will find references to worship of the guru, who is like a deva, in the oldest of scriptural texts, if we want to attempt to apply a date of inception. The spiritual master is often referred to as guru-deva, after all. There are so many songs glorifying him. ‘The guru is like the one who lifted me out of the darkness.’ ‘Without the guru, I would be nothing.’ These are some sentiments you will find common to those who have been blessed.

“At least that is how they feel. It is like they have received deva prasada, or divine grace. The guru has been merciful to them. The disciple, whether formally recognized through a fire initiation ceremony or informally aligned through following in spirit, feels the need to regularly offer honor and worship. Even in the case of making a formal offering of food, water, or flowers before the deity on the altar, they will usually offer to the guru first.

“The idea is that everything then travels up the chain. The guru has their own guru. It is like this significant link of teachers. When you reach the origin, you have found the original person Himself. The knowledge is therefore accepted in an descending process, as described by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

“This is all well and good. It makes sense to honor those who are worthy of honor. But do not the repeated plaudits and praises run the risk of tarnishing the relationship? You see all these high-profile figures who then fall down due to scandal. I am sure the obsequiousness of their followers didn’t help matters. It was likely a contributing factor to the false ego rising to dangerous levels. If people align out of institutional pressure, in a desire to get along in a specific society, or in a generally blind way, does that not do more harm than good? Shouldn’t there be a healthy balance to the proceedings? Why does the disciple feel the need to show gratitude at such a magnitude? The scales are uneven, it appears.”

The simple and honest answer is memory. That memory is a contributing factor to intelligence. The intelligent person remembers from where they came. They are fully aware of the before and after situations. It is like witnessing a transformation through a beautifully presented story, wherein that narrative remains in your mind every day afterwards. This is because the narrative is about you.

Consider the following situation. You have a nephew who has fallen on hard times. You almost predicted it, based on the prior indications. You saw that the addiction to drugs and alcohol was taking its toll. Relationships ruined. The inability to hold down a job. The regrettable fall into corruption and deceit, applied even against well-wishers like parents and grandparents, turning them into victims of criminal schemes.

This nephew of yours eventually landed in prison. No one wants anything to do with them, after that. You decide that one last attempt is worth it. When your nephew gets out of prison, you will take them in. It is not easy. There is the risk that your own family will be negatively influenced. At the same time, you feel that by living in a positive environment, with hope, affection, and faith, your nephew can turn things around.

Fast forward many years. Your nephew is now thriving in life. This is in comparison to where they previously were. They have a job. They have a family. They are not on the wrong side of the law. They are even in a position to help others. This nephew cannot stop thanking you. They appreciate you every single day. They never want you to forget how much they remember the good grace you showed them.

This story begins to touch the surface of the deep-rooted sentiment of the disciple towards the guru. The disciple tends to think along the following lines:

“I am sorry, but my life was miserable before. I was always unhappy. I was depressed. I was envious of everyone else. I had no direction in life. The guru, just by their example, was able to lift me up. It is like they intentionally intervened, against my will, to rescue me from the sadness and despair. I am in a much better place now. I feel as if God is always with me. I am thriving in life. I am a winner. I am not a loser, though I certainly once was. I will never forget from where I came. I will never forget the person who saved me.”

From the pastimes of Shri Rama on this earth, we have the instruction from the Vanara leader named Sugriva. He says that a person who does not repay favors is a disgrace amongst men, dushakah. Based on the context, this disgrace of a man can also be considered a miser. They were directly helped. In Sugriva’s case, it was Rama and His younger brother Lakshmana turning the exiled Sugriva into a king. Sugriva returned to his rightful position. He was previously in fear and perpetual dread. Rama, who is an avatara of Vishnu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, directly intervened. Rama even violated the standard conventions of battle applying to warriors. He did so to help a friend in Sugriva.

समो ऽहं सर्व-भूतेषु
न मे द्वेष्यो ऽस्ति न प्रियः
ये भजन्ति तु मां भक्त्या
मयि ते तेषु चाप्य् अहम्

samo ‘haṁ sarva-bhūteṣu
na me dveṣyo ‘sti na priyaḥ
ye bhajanti tu māṁ bhaktyā
mayi te teṣu cāpy aham

“I envy no one, nor am I partial to anyone. I am equal to all. But whoever renders service unto Me in devotion is a friend, is in Me, and I am also a friend to him.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 9.29)

If the guru is genuine, if they really helped me, then I will feel eternally indebted to them. The steady flow of kind words and praises offered in return will not go to their head, since they understand the link to the Supreme Lord. As described by Sita Devi, the same Shri Rama is always wishing well to all living entities. It is because of His grace that someone came to lift me out of the darkness and into the light.

रामेति प्रथितो लोके गुणवान्सत्यवान्शुचिः
विशालाक्षो महाबाहुस्सर्वभूतहिते रतः

rāmeti prathito loke guṇavānsatyavānśuciḥ
viśālākṣo mahābāhussarvabhūtahite rataḥ

“My husband Rama is famous throughout the world. He is pure, truthful, and very gentle. He is mighty-armed, has wide eyes, and is always busy working for the welfare of all living beings [sarva-bhuta-hite-ratah].” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.11)

In Closing:

With controlled life commanding,
Now proudly standing.

But always to remember where,
Prior to knowledge aware.

Sad, depressed, and in lonely state,
But guru setting me straight.

Such that almost lifting by force,
To honor him now of course.