“O son of Pritha, do not yield to this degrading impotence. It does not become you. Give up such petty weakness of heart and arise, O chastiser of the enemy.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.3)

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क्ल‍ैब्यं मा स्म गमः पार्थ नैतत्त्वय्युपपद्यते
क्षुद्रं हृदयदौर्बल्यं त्यक्त्वोत्तिष्ठ परन्तप

klaibyaṁ mā sma gamaḥ pārtha
naitat tvayy upapadyate
kṣudraṁ hṛdaya-daurbalyaṁ
tyaktvottiṣṭha paran-tapa

1. The one who claims to be nonjudgmental

“What are you doing this weekend? Oh, you are going to a seminar. It is on the fundamentals of dealing with others in a nonjudgmental way. I see. And who is giving the seminar? Wait, that guy? Really?

“I hate to break it to you, but they are the most judgmental person I know. Every time I have heard them speak, they reference different people they counsel. They don’t reveal names, but the details are so vivid that after a while you learn everything it is to know about the subject.

“It is like this counselor only takes the job in order to dig up dirt. They are fishing for information. They then share that confidential material with others. It is like they are laughing at the people seeking help. They are exploiting the most vulnerable. Whoops, was that a judgment I just made?”

2. The one who claims to be tolerant

“You attended a seminar on tolerance? It was held by that guy? No way. This is a joke, right? Are you serious? Umm, I hate to break it to you, but he is the last person to preach tolerance. I know so many victims of his iron-fisted rule over the institution.

“So many people complained about being abused, harassed, and mistreated. This leader then had those victims banned from the institution. Was that not so tolerant of him? And now he has the nerve to sit there and try to instruct others. Someone should have spoken up. Someone should have challenged that total fraud, outing him in public.”

3. The one who claims to be an expert on marital relations

“There’s no way. You are putting me on. That guy spoke about how to be happy in marriage? What does he know about it? Hasn’t he been married like three times? I know for a fact that he has had multiple affairs.

“If you want advice, look to a couple that has survived. Any honest couple would tell you that marriage is like running a marathon. There is no real secret. You just get through it. You endure the struggle. You push forward. A couple that actually knows the secret would never sit there and run a seminar on the subject. They would be honest with others and tell them that there is no one formula for succeeding, for staying together.”

4. The one who fits the part too perfectly

“I don’t know. Something about them just creeps me out. It is this fake humility. They make no jokes. They have no sense of humor. It is like they are acting, putting on a performance. They want to be this celebrity-healer, so they put out these meaningless platitudes. They speak so softly that you can barely hear them. I can tell they are a snake behind the scenes.”

बेष बिसद बोलनि मधुर मन कटु करम मलीन
तुलसी राम न पाइऐ भएँ बिषय जल मीन

beṣa bisada bolani madhura mana kaṭu karama malīna
tulasī rāma na pāiai bhae~ biṣaya jala mīna

“If a person has the dress of a sadhu and speaks sweet words but is bitter and unclean in their mind and deeds, then Tulsi says they have no prayer of attaining Shri Rama, as they are like the fish stuck in the dark ocean of material sense objects.” (Dohavali, 153)

5. The expert in empathic communication

“You ask if I knew that this leader is formally trained in empathic communication, as you call it. I admit that I did not know that. That training must have been completely useless. They should ask for their money back. That leader has the least empathy of anyone I know.

“Just recently, in fact, they joked about rounding people up and forcing them to take this experimental medication. That medication has since proved to be harmful, in causing heart problems and something called ‘turbo cancer.’ This leader should hang their head in shame and take a vow of silence for the rest of their life. That would be proper atonement. The last thing they should be doing is counseling anybody on anything.”

…

It is the current landscape of the world that the greatest cheaters among us also have the least shame. It is as if they are taunting potential victims, gaslighting them into glossing over obvious errors, mistakes, and crimes committed in the past. The ones explicitly preaching equality, humility, kindness, and the like are the ones least likely to extend any of those to others.

By contrast, we can look to one of the most famous counseling sessions in history to see how proper guidance should be offered. In the instance of the Bhagavad-gita delivery, Shri Krishna started out with a bang. He did not mince words. While Arjuna thought that he was being considerate, compassionate, tolerant, forgiving, and kind, the teacher characterized that mindset as asvargyam and anarya.

श्री-भगवान् उवाच
कुतस् त्वा कश्मलम् इदं
विषमे समुपस्थितम्
अनार्य-जुष्टम् अस्वर्ग्यम्
अकीर्ति-करम् अर्जुन

śrī-bhagavān uvāca
kutas tvā kaśmalam idaṁ
viṣame samupasthitam
anārya-juṣṭam asvargyam
akīrti-karam arjuna

“The Supreme Person [Bhagavan] said: My dear Arjuna, how have these impurities come upon you? They are not at all befitting a man who knows the progressive values of life. They do not lead to higher planets, but to infamy.” (Bhagavad-gita, 2.2)

These Sanskrit words may be difficult to understand, but we should know that Krishna was basically insulting Arjuna. It was a strong admonishment. Svargyam relates to leading to the heavenly region. This relates to paramartha, or the higher interest. It is easy to validate svartha, which is short-term interest. Any person can make their own determination, since the results are always visible.

It is more difficult with paramartha. It is like the results to fruitive activity, karma, which are unseen. We have to take it on faith. It is something like believing that the seed planted in the ground will one day grow into a tree which produces its own fruit. The individual fruit will have seeds embedded. This is the continuation of life. We are able to eat today because of seeds previously planted in the ground.

Arya refers to a higher culture. It is the way forward for those who know the true values in life. Arya is a way of living, not exclusive to a region, a set of people, or a language. Svargyam is part of the arya culture. Arjuna thought that his idea of nonviolence, at the worst possible time, would be praised, that he would be commended for his attention to long-term interest.

Instead, Krishna characterized those ideas as asvargyam and anarya. A smile preceded the delivery of Krishna’s response. It was as if the teacher found the student’s ideas so ridiculous that they were surprised of the need to even respond. There was no attention paid to empathic communication, tolerance, or a cushion in delivery.

In the manner of the sadhu, Krishna cut straight to the matter. He delivered the words that needed to be heard. There was indeed compassion in the delivery. If someone corrects my mistakes, in the manner of the governing shastra, then I have received the greatest benefit of human interaction. There can be nothing superior to knowledge which puts me on the right track in life. Arjuna was so fortunate to have Krishna by his side, and by the mercy of sadhu, shastra, and guru we can be just as fortunate.

In Closing:

Like worst tyrant to be,
Only harshness to see.

But on the podium to stand,
Claiming empathy to command.

The gullible in the audience awed,
Cheated by the obvious fraud.

Better to learn from Krishna teaching,
How effective communication reaching.

Categories: the five

Tags: counseling, hare krishna, life, life coach, poem, poems, poetry, yoga