“Who am I? Why do the threefold miseries always give me trouble? If I do not know this, how can I be benefited?” (Sanatana Gosvami speaking to Lord Chaitanya, Chaitanya Charitamrita, Madhya 20.102)

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‘के आमि’, ‘केने आमाय जारे ताप-त्रय’
इहा नाहि जानि — ‘केमने हित हय’

‘ke āmi’, ‘kene āmāya jāre tāpa-traya’
ihā nāhi jāni — ‘kemane hita haya’

“I am going to level with you. This proposal you have going on. This idea of abandoning all varieties of dharma and surrendering everything to Shri Krishna, who is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. This promise of happiness, fulfillment, meaning to an existence, a real purpose driven life, in the manner that is as sanatana as the individual itself.

“I agree with all of that, but you are absolutely fighting a losing battle with the rest of the world. There is no way people are going to go for this. Start with the issue of companionship. Say that I am lonely. I feel isolated. I want to make some friends. What would you say is the best way to solve this problem?

“I know an easy answer. Go out drinking. Take a seat at a bar. Enter a night club. There will always be people there. As long as you keep drinking, whether swiftly or taking your time, people will be next to you. Since they are gradually increasing their level of intoxication, they will be open to talking. The conversation can continue for hours.

“The second best option is to find some place where you can eat meat. I am talking real animal flesh. The fresher the better. In some of these places, they bring out the entire carcass to your table. You then get to pick out which side you want, as in where you want the chef to dig the knife in. I am not joking.

“You will get plenty of friends just with these two options. Okay, so other factors might get in the way. There are jobs to go to. There are family responsibilities. There are health concerns. But nevertheless, eventually you will meet people. They will be more than happy to see you. Some people pass an entire lifetime in this way. They are known as the life of the party. They have women surrounding them in every place. What could be better?

“On the other side, you want someone to contemplate the meaning to life. You want them to listen to Sanskrit shlokas and chant mantras in a mood of meditation. You want them to study. You ask that they give up meat eating, gambling, intoxication, and illicit sex as a means of increasing the potency of the meditation.

“I mean, come on! You will be lucky to find a single friend who shares your interest. If you do meet up with others on a regular basis, like at a temple, it will turn into a competition. They will be watching you like a hawk, making sure that you are not secretly enjoying on the side. You can’t even discuss your upcoming vacation plans.

“They will accuse you of being in maya, Prabhu. ‘Sorry, Prabhu, we are not supposed to be enjoying. I saw you at the restaurant the other day, Prabhu. You know that food is cooked by the eww dirty karmis, right?’”

“There is no hope in this world, I tell you. On either side, you end up losing. I can’t see how anyone except the truly dedicated will ever follow the path you are recommending.”

And yet people are known to tread this path. They have laid a foundation. They have set a standard that others can now study. That standard can be emulated, to an extent. It is like a model for others to draw inspiration from.

यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जनः
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते

yad yad ācarati śreṣṭhas
tat tad evetaro janaḥ
sa yat pramāṇaṁ kurute
lokas tad anuvartate

“Whatever action is performed by a great man, common men follow in his footsteps. And whatever standards he sets by exemplary acts, all the world pursues.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 3.21)

It is true that friendships form off shared interests. It is also true that the aggregate interest in meat-eating or intoxication will vastly outnumber those who are interested in realizing the self. Out of thousands among men, hardly one will even make the attempt. Then out of those who try, barely one will succeed.

मनुष्याणां सहस्रेषु
कश्चिद् यतति सिद्धये
यतताम् अपि सिद्धानां
कश्चिन् मां वेत्ति तत्त्वतः

manuṣyāṇāṁ sahasreṣu
kaścid yatati siddhaye
yatatām api siddhānāṁ
kaścin māṁ vetti tattvataḥ

“Out of many thousands among men, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows Me in truth.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 7.3)

The friendships are tied to the shared interest, but what happens when the interests change? What if someone is genuinely interested in the meaning of life? What if they want to know who they truly are? What if they have the same mood as Sanatana Gosvami in approaching Chaitanya Mahaprabhu for answers?

Should someone who has the answers remain silent? Should they keep everything confidential because of the risks associated with indulging that interest? Should Mahaprabhu not reveal everything to the humble disciple? Should Sanatana Gosvami instead be encouraged to remain with the pack, taking advantage of the safety in numbers?

The more important question to be asked is what exactly is there in the relationship with the Supreme Lord that causes people to withstand the isolation. More than simply losing friends, sometimes the nearest and dearest become inimical. They turn into obstructive forces. They try to stop the worship. They help to ruin the reputation of the devotee. They present obstacles in the path.

“’In My opinion,’ Shrimati Radharani continued, “one should not hear about Krishna, because as soon as a drop of the nectar of His transcendental activities is poured into the ear, one immediately rises above the platform of duality, attraction and rejection. Being completely freed from the attraction of material attachment, one gives up the attachment for this material world, family, home, wife, children and everything which is materially dear to every person. Being dispossessed of all material acquisition, one makes his relatives and himself unhappy.’” (Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Vol 1, Ch 46)

Prahlada Maharaja continues in devotion despite facing potentially lethal attacks from his father. The gopis of Vrindavana essentially lose everything in their decision to stay with Krishna. Shrimati Radharani sarcastically advises against even hearing about Krishna, because of the potential it brings to sever all relationships of the mundane variety. But there is a higher taste. The association is so sacred that once found no wise person will ever give it up, even if they are left with no friends in this world as a result.

विषया विनिवर्तन्ते
निराहारस्य देहिनः
रस-वर्जं रसो ऽप्य् अस्य
परं दृष्ट्वा निवर्तते

viṣayā vinivartante
nirāhārasya dehinaḥ
rasa-varjaṁ raso ‘py asya
paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate

“The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.59)

In Closing:

Since feet in this path set,
Anything now that I regret?

Like all those friendships to lose,
Bhakti again would I choose?

Just imagine what is there,
That the isolation to bear.

A higher taste found,
Realized in self profound.

Categories: questions

Tags: dailyprompt, friendship, life, poem, poems, poetry