“The man who has escaped these three gates of hell, O son of Kunti, performs acts conducive to self-realization and thus gradually attains the supreme destination.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 16.22)

Download this episode (right click and save)

एतैर्विमुक्त: कौन्तेय तमोद्वारैस्त्रिभिर्नर:
आचरत्यात्मन: श्रेयस्ततो याति परां गतिम्

etair vimuktaḥ kaunteya
tamo-dvārais tribhir naraḥ
ācaraty ātmanaḥ śreyas
tato yāti parāṁ gatim

“I have heard your little standup comedy bit explaining the real reason that the CEO of the company is forcing everyone to return to the office. I have heard the same from several people, in fact. On the surface, you get the whole, ‘We are a family,’ line. The company needs more collaboration, and therefore personal interaction, face-to-face, is necessary.

“Of course, this is total nonsense. Collaboration certainly works. There is value to in-person meetings, but then the same CEO sets up a structure that indeed prevents meaningful collaboration from taking place. Instead, the employees have to attend mandatory in-person days, in areas where they know not a single person at the office. Meaningful and effective collaboration could have been accomplished by carving out certain weeks or periods of the year where everyone who works together actually meets in the same place.

“The prevailing theory is that these companies have extended commercial real estate leases that they are locked into. That rent money goes to waste every month, and so the financial implication, more than some fake desire for a family structure, is what is really behind the push to return to office.

“The bit I have heard, the one I referenced earlier and which makes more sense to me, is that the CEO in these cases is a generally miserable person. They hate their life at home. They want to spend as much time away from their family as possible, but they cannot simply get up and walk out. They need the excuse of the office to find the situation they desire.

“They cannot stand that others might not share the same situation. Better to distribute the misery equally. Force others to leave home and go to the office. This way, even if they are attached to their family, they can create a period of separation. They can make a show of working hard, even if they are clicking through internet videos for hours on end while bored at their cubicle desk.

“This humorous characterization makes sense to me. It has a strong element of truth to it. By the same token, could not the same be said of teachers of the science of self-realization? Especially the ones who are formally renounced, living in the sannyasa institution. They could not stand their family life. They were so miserable that they decided to abruptly leave everyone behind.

“This is worse than the CEO spending long hours at the office because the sannyasi now has the highest respect in society. Despite taking advantage of modern facilities such as indoor plumbing and business-class air travel, people bow in front of these spiritual leaders, in the dandavat position. From my angle of vision, what is there to respect? Why should I applaud someone for making a sour grapes decision? Does this not also invalidate the teachings from shastra itself, which warn against the dangers of attachment to wife and children? How am I supposed to take that instruction seriously?”

The obvious refutation to such an argument is that the most well-known passing of the timeless wisdom that is the foundation of the sanatana-dharma culture took place between the Supreme Personality of Godhead and a family man. The recipient was married at the beginning of the conversation. He was also in the warrior occupation. At the conclusion of the discourse, the recipient remained a family man and an active duty warrior. The conversation took place, in fact, on a battlefield.

इन्द्रियस्येन्द्रियस्यार्थे रागद्वेषौ व्यवस्थितौ
तयोर्न वशमागच्छेत्तौ ह्यस्य परिपन्थिनौ

indriyasyendriyasyārthe
rāga-dveṣau vyavasthitau
tayor na vaśam āgacchet
tau hy asya paripanthinau

“Attraction and repulsion for sense objects are felt by embodied beings, but one should not fall under the control of senses and sense objects because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 3.34)

In the beginning of the sacred Ramayana poem, the celebrated traveler of the three worlds, Narada Muni, promises the listener that they will get to enjoy in the heavenly region with their family members. Just by listening to the historical narrative involving the avatara of Vishnu known as Shri Rama, they will achieve a wonderful destination in the afterlife.

एतदाख्यानमायुष्यं पठन्रामायणं नर:
सपुत्रपौत्रस्सगण: प्रेत्य स्वर्गे महीयते

etadākhyānamāyuṣyaṃ paṭhanrāmāyaṇaṃ nara:
saputrapautrassagaṇa: pretya svarge mahīyate

“The man who reads and recites this narration of the Ramayana will be blessed with a long duration of life and after death will be welcomed and respectfully received in the heavenly region, along with sons, grandsons, and relatives.” (Valmiki Ramayana, Bala Kand, 1.99)

As far as the bitter experience in marriage, this is a tale as old as time itself. The teachings from shastra are a warning. The reality is that our relationships are all sort of contingent. The dependent factor is interest. We can find evidence in the modern day, where the grown-up children have no allegiance to their parents. They simply take and take. This is what they have known since childhood. They do not appreciate all that the parents have done for them, all the sacrifices made, and the value to the financial assistance the dependents receive, like benefactors to an annuity policy.

Shri Krishna describes that there are three gates which lead to a hellish existence. Those gates are kama, krodha, and lobha. Kama is material desire, which can easily turn into lust. Krodha is the anger and frustration upon encountering either unfulfilled kama or kama which no longer provides the requisite level of satisfaction. Lobha is greed, wherein repeated fulfillment of kama only fuels further desire; there is this increasing and constant hankering for more and more.

These three gates are easy to open when indulging in family life with attachment. That is the reason for the warning. Otherwise, the institution itself can be considered an ashrama. It is meant for spiritual upliftment. It is meant for continuing in the education that ideally begins from the time of birth. Kama is the sole cause of birth, and from birth there are the accompanying miseries of old age, disease, and death. If kama remains at the time of death, there will be another birth in the future.

हरि माया कृत दोष गुन बिनु हरि भजन न जाहिं
भजिअ राम सब काम तजि अस बिचारि मन माहिं

hari māyā kṛta doṣa guna binu hari bhajana na jāhiṃ
bhajia rāma saba kāma taji asa bicāri mana māhiṃ

“Good and bad, which are part of the illusion created by Hari, cannot be removed without worshiping Hari. Keeping this in mind, worship Rama and renounce all desires.” (Dohavali, 127)

The relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead is not contingent. He is not dependent on our offerings, though He recommends them. While everything else gets wiped away by the onslaught of time, our connection with Him can withstand anything. In one sense, He is the lone reality in this world filled with illusion. In whatever way we can stay connected to Him, whether living in this ashrama or that, whether at home or regularly travelling from place to place, we should take advantage of the facility.

In Closing:

To escape family came,
Running to office without shame.

The modern worker distressed,
But why not guru addressed?

That from previous experience bitter,
To marriage and children a quitter.

Truth that all through contingency directed,
Transcendence only when to Hari connected.

Categories: questions, the maya of hari

Tags: dailyprompt, friendship, jobs, office, poem, poems, poetry