“O friend, Sita now wishes to give to your wife a pearl necklace, a string of gold and a girdle. O gentle one, please take them.” (Lord Rama speaking to Suyajna, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 32.7)

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हारं च हेमसूत्रं च भार्यायै सौम्य हारय
रशनां चाधुना सीता दातुमिच्छति ते सखे

hāraṃ ca hemasūtraṃ ca bhāryāyai saumya hāraya
raśanāṃ cādhunā sītā dātumicchati te sakhe

It came down to a matter of choice. The two options were vastly different, both in the immediate picture presented and the nuances involved in daily life. The husband had already reached a decision. He practically insisted that the wife choose the first option. This would be best for all parties involved. It was a stressful time. This choice came upon them suddenly. Only moments prior, the husband and wife were prepared for elevation, for ascension, for a ceremony known as abhisheka.

You see, the husband was set to accept the throne from the father. The father was currently in the seat at the top. The father was the leader of Ayodhya. After careful consideration, in accord with proper protocols and precedent set far back, Dasharatha decided that it was time for Rama to become king. Rama was also the eldest son to Dasharatha. Rama was also the favorite son to Dasharatha. Rama was like the favorite son to the entire community, in fact.

As quickly as the plans were made, they changed. Rama had to leave. He would not be taking the throne; at least not for now. There really was no choice for Rama’s wife. Sita Devi had to stay home. At the very least, she should abide by her husband’s orders. This is the way in the ideal marriage in the Vedic tradition. The husband leads and the wife follows. The Sanskrit description is sadharma-charini; the wife is like the partner in following dharma for the husband.

सदृशं चानुरूपं च कुलस्य तव चात्मनः
सधर्मचारिणी मे त्वं प्राणेभ्योऽपि गरीयसी

sadṛśaṃ cānurūpaṃ ca kulasya tava cātmanaḥ
sadharmacāriṇī me tvaṃ prāṇebhyo’pi garīyasī

“My dear beautiful wife, what you have said is befitting the occasion and also indicative of the greatness of your family heritage. You are dearer to Me than My life, for you are My companion in the performance of religious duties.” (Lord Rama speaking to Sita Devi, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 10.21)

Sita needed some convincing, though. The first layer to the presentation, if comparing the husband to an advocate, was insufficient. The next obvious line of argument is comparison. Just take the current situation and compare it to what life would be like in the next phase. Rama was going to live in the forest. In the following review, we see what Sita would be missing out on if she chose to follow her husband.

1. Royal attendants

Nationalism, patriotism, community bonding, and the like are only natural. People want to be proud of where they live. They do not want to feel as if they are lagging behind. In this regard, someone living in an industrialized nation today might feel that they are advanced. They have easy and quick access to the latest computer electronics. They can get behind the wheel and drive practically anywhere. They have indoor plumbing. Their heating and cooling are configured to a precise temperature entered on a digital display.

Of course, for every convenience there is an inconvenience. Trying to stay ahead of routine maintenance is difficult. Simply managing a household is a fulltime job, and yet no one has time for it. There is so much stuff available that many homes are filled with junk. The stuff gathers to such a level that entire rooms are filled. You cannot see the floor. You give up even trying to dig your way out of the mess.

As the wife of the eldest prince, Sita Devi lived in a palace. There were many attendants. The conditions were steady since the time of her birth. She was found as a baby in the ground. Her soon-to-be father was ploughing a field in preparation for a yajna, which is religious sacrifice. He found the greatest gift in his new daughter. He took her in and named her Sita.

Janaka’s daughter then married into royalty with her union with Rama. There were attendants for everything. These were not slaves or servants forced into service. Rather, they were almost like family members. It is in the nature of the individual to serve. That is their dharma. There is nothing demeaning about seeing to the needs of the royal couple, who were well-wishers to everyone.

2. Royal attire

There would be no attendants in the forest. Sita and Rama would have to rough it, so to speak. They would have to do everything for themselves. Like a weekend camping trip, but without battery-powered electronics. No signals to warn for approaching wild animals. No external lighting source during the nighttime. No one to help clean up the home or cook the meals.

Rama was leaving for fourteen years. That was one stipulation in the punishment suggested by Queen Kaikeyi, who was one of Dasharatha’s wives. The other stipulation was that Rama had to live like an ascetic. This meant that royal attire was not allowed. The princess who was always beautifully dressed would have to wander about like a beggar.

3. State visits

If you live in a palace, you will likely receive visitors. There will be someone to guard the door. There is something like a check-in system, in the informal sense. The visitors might also be the most important people in society, such as leaders of neighboring states.

Such visits would not occur in the forest. Who would choose to venture out that far to begin with? What would be gained by visiting someone following the vow of an ascetic? Just how would Sita appropriately welcome any of her guests? There would be no one to help arrange a table, set out fine eatables and drink, or entertain.

4. Well-wishers

Sita and Rama were beloved in Ayodhya. As later described to the inimical leader named Ravana, Rama wishes well for all living entities. Rama is gentle, though of the kshatriya order. Imagine someone who is kind, polite, and peaceful, but also brave and relentless in providing protection. Naturally, such divine qualities would invite appreciation and well-wishes.

रामेति प्रथितो लोके गुणवान्सत्यवान्शुचिः
विशालाक्षो महाबाहुस्सर्वभूतहिते रतः

rāmeti prathito loke guṇavānsatyavānśuciḥ
viśālākṣo mahābāhussarvabhūtahite rataḥ

“My husband Rama is famous throughout the world. He is pure, truthful, and very gentle. He is mighty-armed, has wide eyes, and is always busy working for the welfare of all living beings [sarva-bhuta-hite-ratah].” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.11)

In the forest, the couple would live alone. They would have to take joy from nature. They would not get to hear the latest news from the people of the town. They would not be in a situation to help with any issues, to sort out disagreements, or to weed out trouble.

5. An announcement portal

Expecting an addition to the family? A baby on the way? Just moved into a new home? Purchased the automobile you’ve had your eye on for months? Just cooked something amazing for the first time, from scratch, after reading a recipe? At home, at least there is a way to announce news. There are people to hear the news. You can compare and contrast the different responses. You can see who is excited for you and who is not.

There would be no such announcement mechanism in the forest. There would be no way to enjoy the typical interactions adults have in society. We find that Sita Devi did not find any of these deficiencies to be enough to justify staying at home. Rather, the shade of the lotus feet of her husband were enough. Rama was enough for Sita. As Lakshmana later remarked, it would be like taking a fish out of water to try to live without that beloved prince of Ayodhya.

न च सीता त्वया हीना न चाहमपि राघव
मुहूर्तमपि जीवावो जलान्मत्स्याविनोद्धृतौ

na ca sītā tvayā hīnā na cāhamapi rāghava
muhūrtamapi jīvāvo jalānmatsyāvinoddhṛtau

“O Rama, You should know that just as fish cannot survive when taken out of water, neither Sita nor I can live without You for even a moment.” (Lakshmana speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 53.31)

In Closing:

Despite conditions tough,
Husband considered enough.

For Sita always as princess known,
Now forest life austere and alone.

Of latest news not to be aware,
No one good fortune to share.

But since Rama by her side,
Anywhere could reside.

Categories: the five

Tags: dailyprompt, poem, poems, poetry, ramayana, sita devi, vairagya