“Others will also ridicule and scorn saying, ‘This child is an asura but prays to the gods. It is like a cat offering prayers to a mouse or a peacock to a snake.’ This is indeed a bad omen, behavior resembling an enemy, as even after obtaining great wealth and power, an unintelligent person can fall down.” (Hiranyakashipu speaking to Prahlada, Narasimha Purana, 41.59-60)

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अन्येपि त्वां हनिष्यन्ति वदिष्यन्ति जनास्त्विदम्
असुरोयं सुरांस्तौति मार्जार इव मूषकान्
द्वेष्यान् शिखीव फणिनो दुर्निमित्तमिदं ध्रुवम्
लब्ध्वापि महदैश्वर्यं लाघवं यान्त्यबुद्धयः

anyepi tvāṃ haniṣyanti vadiṣyanti janāstvidam
asuroyaṃ surāṃstauti mārjāra iva mūṣakān
dveṣyān śikhīva phaṇino durnimittamidaṃ dhruvam
labdhvāpi mahadaiśvaryaṃ lāghavaṃ yāntyabuddhayaḥ

“I guess you don’t notice these things until you are in a similar situation. After all, we grew up as children. What could we possibly have known about parenthood? How to view the children? How to manage the responsibilities? How to fit in with society? How to deal with conflicting priorities? Should the parents put their own interests first? Should the children be the only consideration? These are the issues to deal with, and there isn’t really a proper way to proceed; at least from my perspective.

“But one of the things I have noticed is what I would refer to as ‘social mileage.’ A famous talk radio host used to joke that the job of the callers to the program was to make the host look good. Not necessarily with effusive praise or kind words, but by inspiring thought in the host. I can take that joke and apply it to parenting. In many instances, it appears that the job of the children is to make the parents look good.

“You might be asking how, exactly. Well, it begins from an early age. The two-year old has to impress the guests by reciting the alphabet. The three-year old reads a book in front of extended family. That child who can play an instrument. The boy who can hit a tennis ball and keep a rally going with an adult. The young girl and her paintings. There are so many ways that the parents benefit. It is like they are getting something out of the relationship; a deal of the century.

“Shouldn’t the concern be about the children, though? Such as, whether or not they are adjusting to life around them. Are they learning things, at their own pace, in a safe environment? Are they dealing appropriately with failure? Are they failing in anything? Are they free to explore, to ask questions, to ponder the meaning to their actions? Are they eating healthy food, at appropriate times? Are they sleeping well?

“Notice how none of these questions have to do with the parents. Their stature in society should not be determined by what the children do. At least that is my view. Think about it for a second. If the children are meant to make the parents look good, what happens in the case of failure? What if the children are not good at anything? Should they then be rejected? The children are of no use, then? These are the things that bother me. Perhaps I am making too big a deal out of it; maybe it is not really a problem, in the long run.”

We have the case of the infamous leader of the Daityas, from ancient times. His story can be found in sacred texts such as Bhagavata Purana and Vishnu Purana. The Daityas are both a race and a way to approach the life experience. The Daityas are a specialized form of the asura class. The asura word is a negation of sura. The sura is good, or at least tries to be good. They look to the highest person, who is the deva of the devas. The suras are in the mode of goodness, sattva-guna. The suras are your classic “good guys.”

स्वयमेवात्मनात्मानं वेत्थ त्वं पुरुषोत्तम
भूतभावन भूतेश देवदेव जगत्पते

svayam evātmanātmānaṁ
vettha tvaṁ puruṣottama
bhūta-bhāvana bhūteśa
deva-deva jagat-pate

“Indeed, You alone know Yourself by Your own potencies, O origin of all, Lord of all beings, God of gods, O Supreme Person, Lord of the universe!” (Arjuna, Bhagavad-gita, 10.15)

Asura is a simple negation. Take everything good and turn it upside down. Pettiness. Miserliness. Lack of respect for personal space and property. At the foundation is envy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Hiranyakashipu was the best of the asuras. He was directly addressed as such. The son knew exactly who the father was. The son figured things out at a young age. The son was only five years old.

Setting aside his asura nature for a moment, Hiranyakashipu had no reason to be upset. He had no cause for unhappiness. By his own estimation, according to the standard he strived for, everything was saphala, or successful. There was no scarcity in the kingdom. There was no threat of foreign attack. This is because Hiranyakashipu had immunity against a host of creatures, weapons, and situations. He had something like ninety-nine percent immortality, acquired through supplication of the creator, Lord Brahma.

Nevertheless, we see that the relationship with the son was not independent of the safe and secure lifestyle. It is like someone who has succeeded in their desires ninety-nine straight times, but then loses it when their hundredth desire fails to materialize. Prahlada had to follow the Daitya way. Prahlada had to make the father look good. Otherwise, there would be trouble.

Hiranyakashipu tried to explain this to Prahlada. One time, the boy was showing signs of devotion. He had written the name of Krishna on a slate. He had also drawn a chakra. The signs had accompanying reverence, adarat. It is not that Prahlada had accidentally stumbled into writing some name he randomly saw written in some book. He knew what he was doing.

Hiranyakashipu said that the other children in school would make fun of Prahlada. They would think that the boy had gone mad. After all, Prahlada was a Daitya. He was the son of the leader of the Daityas. The strong do not supplicate the weak. The asuras do not pray to the devas. They certainly do not favor the one who always favors the devas. The devas look to Vishnu as their savior, their protector, and their well-wisher. How could Prahlada ever think of doing the same?

The social mileage faded quickly, as Prahlada refused to give in. The threat of peer pressure would not work. The threat of punishment would not work. Not even the actual punishment, inflicted by an angry and disappointed father, would work. Whether the devotion to Vishnu made him popular, respected, or the target of ire and hatred, Prahlada was set in his vow, dridha-vrata.

सततं कीर्तयन्तो मां
यतन्तश् च दृढ-व्रताः
नमस्यन्तश् च मां भक्त्या
नित्य-युक्ता उपासते

satataṁ kīrtayanto māṁ
yatantaś ca dṛḍha-vratāḥ
namasyantaś ca māṁ bhaktyā
nitya-yuktā upāsate

“Always chanting My glories, endeavoring with great determination, bowing down before Me, these great souls perpetually worship Me with devotion.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 9.14)

In Closing:

Whether punishment or reward to get,
Prahlada in that vow set.

That Vishnu seeing,
As highest being.

For father mileage to extract,
But upon empty to retract.

Previously given love and affection,
Since son now in different direction.

Categories: questions, supplicating the inferior

Tags: children, dailyprompt, life, parenting, poem, poems, poetry