“Of what use are wealth, comforts and pleasures, home, wives, and sons if one is not able to see Shri Rama?” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 48.7)

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किं नु तेषां गृहैः कार्यं किं दारै: किं धनेन वा
पुत्रैर्वा किं सुखैर्वापि ये न पश्यन्ति राघवम्

kiṃ nu teṣāṃ gṛhaiḥ kāryaṃ kiṃ dārai: kiṃ dhanena vā
putrairvā kiṃ sukhairvāpi ye na paśyanti rāghavam

“Have you noticed the tides turning? Have you detected the shift in sentiment? Have you heard words spoken which were previously forbidden, precisely because of the source? I do pay attention to these things, though I only casually come upon the content. I believe this change has relevance to recorded history. In other words, we can review incidents from the past, even from ancient times, and revisit the accepted characterization.

“The change of which I speak is men speaking up, no pun intended. They are tired of being portrayed as dumb, selfish, and uncaring. They are fighting back, with words. They are putting women in their place. They are pointing out the deficiencies, the defects, and even the debauchery that has gone on without objection for too long. There is even a new class of content creators emerging. I believe they are referred to as ‘red-pill.’ They take issue with women who cause trouble in relationships, in marriages, and who say one thing but mean something entirely different.

“This brings me to one section of the Ramayana, in particular. Yes, I am going to touch upon a work of spirituality, in the presentation of timeless relevance that is sanatana-dharma. In one place you find the women of the community criticizing their husbands. The words are sharp and cutting. The husbands are not expecting the attack. But honestly, when are they? That is the whole point to bringing someone down with words. Approach them when they are least prepared.

“There is obviously some emotion involved. The wives are upset. The reason is that Shri Rama, the beloved prince of the community, who was only moments prior set to ascend the throne in a peaceful manner, has left. He is gone. He will not return for fourteen years. The people tried to follow Him, such was their attachment. That attempt failed, as Rama would not let the people suffer in the forest, detached from their home that was the kingdom of Ayodhya.

“My objection is that these husbands did not deserve what came to them. The wives were upset that Rama was punished unfairly. They were grieving. I get that. At the same time, good men should not be put down for no reason. It breaks them. The words are hurtful. I thought wives in the Vedic tradition are taught to be loyal and obedient. Isn’t that what makes a household work? It is not like these husbands did anything wrong. Why, then, should they be a target of ridicule?”

It should be noted that similar scenes have played out on the comedic stage for centuries. The husband innocently agrees with something the wife asks about. Next thing you know, he is receiving a tongue-lashing. The next time, he tries a different approach. He intentionally disagrees. The same wife then rips into him for being disagreeable. There is no winning. The husband is always guilty. The husband is always wrong. He settles on an approach moving forward. Simply apologize for whatever he is accused of. That is the best way to maintain the peace.

The women in Ayodhya were grieving. Rama was still alive, but He may as well have been gone forever. They could not see Him. They tried to follow Him. They were ready to give up everything. Rama was so beloved that He had to devise a trick in order to finally escape. The people were heartbroken. Negative words are known to escape during times of emotional turmoil.

य: सत्यपाशपरिवीतपितुर्निदेशं
स्त्रैणस्य चापि शिरसा जगृहे सभार्य:
राज्यं श्रियं प्रणयिन: सुहृदो निवासं
त्यक्त्वा ययौ वनमसूनिव मुक्तसङ्ग:

yaḥ satya-pāśa-parivīta-pitur nideśaṁ
straiṇasya cāpi śirasā jagṛhe sabhāryaḥ
rājyaṁ śriyaṁ praṇayinaḥ suhṛdo nivāsaṁ
tyaktvā yayau vanam asūn iva mukta-saṅgaḥ

“Carrying out the order of His father, who was bound by a promise to his wife, Lord Ramachandra left behind His kingdom, opulence, friends, well-wishers, residence and everything else, just as a liberated soul gives up his life, and went to the forest with Sita.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 9.10.8)

But what if there is wisdom in those words? What if there is something to learn from how the wives treated their husbands? What if there are teachings within that emotion? What if those teachings are rarely accessed in this world? What if the only other way to reach enlightenment is to find an esteemed practitioner in an isolated setting? What if the wives carried a level of attachment for the Almighty that even the best of yogis would envy?

In that case, the husbands are blessed. They have support in people that they are supposed to support. They are elevated by the people supposedly beneath them, the dependents. In a single incident, a group of individuals not known for their academic status taught the world the most valuable lesson in life, in how to prioritize those things which are otherwise sought after, enjoyed, and sometimes hoarded.

In Closing:

Forever locked and boarded,
Even if previously hoarded.

Of diminishing value present,
Since Rama out of presence.

Though husbands not deserving,
Into that admonishment swerving.

The wives of emotion uncontrolled,
But deepest wisdom to hold.

Categories: questions

Tags: dailyprompt, hare krishna, marriage, poem, poems, poetry, ramayana