“Being under the control of passion and lust, Rama’s father, Maharaja Dasharatha, wanted to fulfill Kaikeyi’s cherished desire, thus he did not go through with Rama’s installation ceremony.” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.12)

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कामार्तस्तु महातेजाः पिता दशरथस्स्वयम्
कैकेय्याः प्रियकामार्थं तं रामं नाभ्यषेचयत्

kāmārtastu mahātejāḥ pitā daśarathassvayam
kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmārthaṃ taṃ rāmaṃ nābhyaṣecayat

In the following thought exercise, we time-shift to the period of the avatara of Shri Rama, appearing in the revered kingdom of Ayodhya. The leader at the time, King Dasharatha, was part of a line of respected rulers, with its lineage to figures like Ikshvaku and Raghu. Therefore, Rama sometimes is addressed by additional names, such as Raghunandana and Ikshvakunandana. He gives pleasure to the dynasty of the Raghus. He is the sun of the solar dynasty, since Ikshvaku descends from the sun-god.

श्री-भगवान् उवाच
इमं विवस्वते योगं
प्रोक्तवान् अहम् अव्ययम्
विवस्वान् मनवे प्राह
मनुर् इक्ष्वाकवे ’ब्रवीत्

śrī-bhagavān uvāca
imaṁ vivasvate yogaṁ
proktavān aham avyayam
vivasvān manave prāha
manur ikṣvākave ’bravīt

“The Blessed Lord said: I instructed this imperishable science of yoga to the sun-god, Vivasvan, and Vivasvan instructed it to Manu, the father of mankind, and Manu in turn instructed it to Ikshvaku.” (Bhagavad-gita, 4.1)

We are devoted to Rama. We live in the kingdom. We are favorable to the royal family. We are excited from hearing the latest news. Dasharatha has decided to step down, realizing that it is time to pass the torch to the next generation. After careful consideration and deliberation, in accord with the opinion of his advisors, Rama is the chosen one. Rama will succeed Dasharatha on the throne. Rama happens to be the eldest son. Rama happens to be beloved by all. This decision conveniently aligns with Dasharatha’s personal sentiment. In other words, this is what the king wanted all along.

Then comes the twist. Plans change, abruptly, at that. As an average citizen observing the events, in having the rug pulled out from underneath us, in transitioning from excitement to dejection, we have two questions to ask Dasharatha. There is deep-rooted emotion bubbling up to the surface. It is probably best if we ask these questions in an isolated setting, without anyone necessarily hearing us.

1. Why did he offer two boons to Kaikeyi?

“You are the leader of the people. You set the standard. Everyone knows this. If we have a good leader, then we have a good community. The hallmark of a leader is attention to duty, which is known as dharma. The sign of degradation is the prioritization of sneha, or affection. You should not let feelings get in the way of administration. That which needs to be done, karya, should be carried out. That which should be avoided, akarya, should be kept far away, figuratively locked in a vault.”

प्रवृत्तिं च निवृत्तिं च कार्याकार्ये भयाभये
बन्धं मोक्षं च या वेत्ति बुद्धि: सा पार्थ सात्त्विकी

pravṛttiṁ ca nivṛttiṁ ca
kāryākārye bhayābhaye
bandhaṁ mokṣaṁ ca yā vetti
buddhiḥ sā pārtha sāttvikī

“O son of Pritha, that understanding by which one knows what ought to be done and what ought not to be done, what is to be feared and what is not to be feared, what is binding and what is liberating, that understanding is established in the mode of goodness.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 18.30)

“Being well-aware of the awesome responsibility you have, why did you capriciously hand out boons to someone within your family? Why did you promise Kaikeyi any two wishes? What were you thinking? It is like you gave up the throne and put your wife in charge. Mind you, she is the youngest of the three wives. This means that she is the least mature. I get it that she once saved you from the battlefield. You felt some appreciation, but did you consider what your sentiment might mean for the rest of us?”

2. Why did he honor those two boons?

“Okay, we understand that you have a soft spot for Kaikeyi. You love her. We love her, but just see what she is doing now. She has succumbed to envy and greed. She is cashing in those two boons you gave her, at the most inopportune time. She is under the spell of a bad influence, for sure. Why not just go back on your word? Why are you honoring her requests? She is not making sense, either. Her son, Bharata, would never agree to the proposal. He loves Rama more than any of us do. Bharata would be aghast at the second request, in sending Rama to the forest for fourteen years. This is all so crazy. You, as the king, can put a stop to this madness. Just tell Kaikeyi that you don’t remember offering those boons. Be like the merchant who offered a discount but then denies having done so when the customer attempts redemption. Tell her that the coupon has expired.”

…

Given the landscape of the modern world, it might appear strange to hear criticism lobbed at Dasharatha for the predicament he found. After all, isn’t love the highest objective? Isn’t it romantic for Dasharatha to be swept away by affection for his wife? What is wrong in taking comfort from someone you are devoted to for life? What is wrong in offering them nice gifts, as an expression of your appreciation? Why do people surrounding Dasharatha take veiled shots at him? Even Sita Devi, the wife of Rama, alleges that Dasharatha was under the control of passion, kama, when he went ahead with the proposals from Kaikeyi.

It was a complicated situation. The criticism makes sense when considering the life experience as temporary, as preparation for the next life. Being kind towards a spouse is not wrong or forbidden, but there is always the vulnerability to consumption of the consciousness. That consciousness is what determines the nature of the next birth. A life in dharma is superior to a life in kama. This is because kama can be towards anything or anyone. Dharma is the approach based on intelligence. Kama is the approach based on emotion. Dharma is for the long-term interest. Kama is for the short-term interest, with a heavy price to pay.

यं यं वापि स्मरन् भावं
त्यजत्य् अन्ते कलेवरम्
तं तम् एवैति कौन्तेय
सदा तद्-भाव-भावितः

yaṁ yaṁ vāpi smaran bhāvaṁ
tyajaty ante kalevaram
taṁ tam evaiti kaunteya
sadā tad-bhāva-bhāvitaḥ

“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 8.6)

The attachment to Rama is what saved Dasharatha. This was his reward for pious behavior in the past. Rama is Vishnu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Rama did not appear in that place at random. Dasharatha had the proper qualifications. So did the people of Ayodhya. Rama essentially took the decision away from Dasharatha. He left for the forest without hesitation. As Shrimad Bhagavatam describes, it was like a liberated soul giving up their body.

य: सत्यपाशपरिवीतपितुर्निदेशं
स्त्रैणस्य चापि शिरसा जगृहे सभार्य:
राज्यं श्रियं प्रणयिन: सुहृदो निवासं
त्यक्त्वा ययौ वनमसूनिव मुक्तसङ्ग:

yaḥ satya-pāśa-parivīta-pitur nideśaṁ
straiṇasya cāpi śirasā jagṛhe sabhāryaḥ
rājyaṁ śriyaṁ praṇayinaḥ suhṛdo nivāsaṁ
tyaktvā yayau vanam asūn iva mukta-saṅgaḥ

“Carrying out the order of His father, who was bound by a promise to his wife, Lord Ramachandra left behind His kingdom, opulence, friends, well-wishers, residence and everything else, just as a liberated soul gives up his life, and went to the forest with Sita.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 9.10.8)

In Closing:

Like the body away giving,
Rama quickly for forest living.

With hesitation none,
Shift quickly done.

But others on Dasharatha to pile,
To consider plan wicked and vile.

All from affection for woman his own,
But truth for leadership shown.

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Tags: dailyprompt, hare krishna, marriage, poem, poems, poetry