“In charge of the various necessities of life, the demigods, being satisfied by the performance of yajna [sacrifice], supply all necessities to man. But he who enjoys these gifts, without offering them to the demigods in return, is certainly a thief.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 3.12)

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इष्टान्भोगान्हि वो देवा दास्यन्ते यज्ञभाविताः ।
तैर्दत्तानप्रदायैभ्यो यो भुङ्क्ते स्तेन एव सः ॥

iṣṭān bhogān hi vo devā
dāsyante yajña-bhāvitāḥ
tair dattān apradāyaibhyo
yo bhuṅkte stena eva saḥ

1. Holding the door

“That person is so rude. They saw me coming. I was in the distance, but we made eye contact. It is so cold outside right now. They knew I was carrying a baby. Still, they failed to hold the door open for me. I cannot believe what the world has become. This new generation is the absolute worst. We are doomed.”

2. Acknowledging assistance received

“That person is so rude. I went out of my way, on a Saturday, to help them. They knew I could get the job done. I was not the person responsible for that issue, but I could not stand by and do nothing. I went the extra mile and received no acknowledgment for my efforts. These people are so entitled it makes me sick.”

3. Sending a letter after a job interview

“That person is so rude. The interview went well. They have the necessary qualifications for the job. They dressed appropriately, but just see the aftermath. No acknowledgment. No ‘thank you’ letter. What kind of world do they expect to live in? No way we are hiring them now.”

4. Waiting to eat

“That person is so rude. We were caught in traffic. We notified them as such. They could have waited a few minutes more, but no. As soon as we sat down to the table, we see them stuffing their faces. They had already ordered. They did not have the courtesy to ask us what we wanted, either. Just ridiculous.”

5. Touching the feet

“That person is so rude. They barely acknowledge me when I see them. They speak in an informal manner. They fail to address me with words recognizing my position relative to them. In my childhood, I would have been beaten severely had I been this disrespectful towards elders. These kids are glued to their games and smartphones now. They don’t care about anyone else. It is sad to see.”

…

Upon reviewing the standards set by those following bhakti-yoga, devotional service, the outsider may find the rituals, regulations, and strict attention to detail to be odd, out of place, or practically useless. They may offer commentary along the following lines:

“Why do you care so much? Who do you think is actually watching you? You spend your entire day bowing down. Sorry, the correct word is prostrating. It is a sign of respect, but what have these people done for you that they deserve such allegiance? It is a little ridiculous. It is a giant waste of time, if you ask me. It will make no difference in the long run.”

From studying Vedic culture, we see that this offering of respect begins from the time of birth. The child is junior to practically everyone else in the family. This means that at each greeting there is the touching of the feet. The same takes place during departure.

The children should show respect to the parents. They should respect the teachers. The wife obeys the husband. The husband pays respect to the local administrator. The local leader pays tribute to the leader of the larger area. The respect continues up the chain until you have reached those situated above the clouds.

If a person is skeptical as to the purpose, then there is an easy way to understand. The respect is appreciation. My situation in life does not maintain itself. I am comfortable right now, seated in front of a computer, with the temperature in the room automatically maintained through digital controls.

I think that everything is set because of my own work, but so many other forces must first cooperate. There are the other people living in the same home, i.e. my family members. There are other people within the community. They must agree to obey the laws. There is law enforcement, which should avoid crookedness and be courageous and brave to stand up to aggressive forces.

There is also nature, itself. A hurricane, a tornado, an earthquake, or any other severe weather event can wipe out an area in minutes. I have no control over such miseries, which are often referred to as “acts of God.” Even if I have no information as to the mechanisms involved to maintaining nature, I am fortunate to not be attacked.

All of this means that there is sufficient justification for showing appreciation. If a person disagrees with the tendency to appreciate what others do, just see how much they insist upon it for their own dealings. There are so many areas where the slightest breach of etiquette leads to tension and strained relationships.

As laid out in Bhagavad-gita, the grateful person always remembers the blessings they receive. They follow yajna as a matter of duty. They sacrifice because they understand that the water which falls from the sky is ultimately responsible for the continuation of life. They would never be able to eat were it not for some higher power providing that which is needed.

Bhakti-yoga essentially builds upon this principle. It is stacking upon the existing acknowledgment of the sanctions from nature. I am not the doer, after all. I can only contemplate what to do. I can only make plans. Other forces have to cooperate in order for the potential to turn into reality.

प्रकृतेः क्रियमाणानि
गुणैः कर्माणि सर्वशः
अहङ्कार-विमूढात्मा
कर्ताहम् इति मन्यते

prakṛteḥ kriyamāṇāni
guṇaiḥ karmāṇi sarvaśaḥ
ahaṅkāra-vimūḍhātmā
kartāham iti manyate

“The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities, which are in actuality carried out by nature.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 3.27)

Devotional service is showing appreciation to the benefactor of the benefactors. The highest person of all. The one from whom the universes emanate. The one who conducts the work of the world, without any impact in karma. The one who remains unaffected, aloof from the changes constantly taking place, but who is still kind enough to remain my well-wisher.

न च मां तानि कर्माणि
निबध्नन्ति धनञ्जय
उदासीन-वद् आसीनम्
असक्तं तेषु कर्मसु

na ca māṁ tāni karmāṇi
nibadhnanti dhanañjaya
udāsīna-vad āsīnam
asaktaṁ teṣu karmasu

“O Dhananjaya, all this work cannot bind Me. I am ever detached, seated as though neutral.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 9.9)

Others may consider the devotees to be foolish to be so conscious of who is helping them, but the intelligent person never fails to show appreciation. They are well aware of how fragile the life experience within the material world is, and so they maintain a link in consciousness to the one who is the ultimate enjoyer of all activity in appreciation, Yajneshvara.

In Closing:

Right now living well,
At peace with stories to tell.

Warming the room with a heater,
Riding comfortably in seven seater.

Foolish to think of my own to do,
Higher forces responsible who.

Culture in constant appreciation set,
That ultimately from Krishna to get.

Categories: the five

Tags: etiquette, god, hare krishna, manners, poem, poems, poetry, religion