“O best among the glorious ones, all of this has been achieved by me through the divine grace of You and Your brother. One who does not repay the favors offered to him certainly is considered a disgrace among men.” (Sugriva speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Kishkindha Kand, 38.26)

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तव देव प्रसादाच्च भ्रातुश्च जयतां वर।
कृतं न प्रतिकुर्याद्यः पुरुषाणां स दूषकः।।

tava deva prasādācca bhrātuśca jayatāṃ vara।
kṛtaṃ na pratikuryādyaḥ puruṣāṇāṃ sa dūṣakaḥ।।

“Can you explain something to me? This is about the Ramayana story. I know it is actually a history, that a skilled poet composed the Sanskrit verses to beautifully describe the descent of Vishnu as Shri Rama, appearing in Ayodhya thousands of years in the past, when juxtaposed with the present day. I am not foolish enough to think that Valmiki would waste his precious time writing fiction, conjuring up wild fantasies, or trying to explain esoteric topics in a hidden way.

“The issue I have is this idea of everyone’s life turned upside down because of a single person. A woman, no less. Dasharatha, the king of Ayodhya, basically leaves this world because one of his wives asks for something. She doesn’t threaten violence. She is not trying to blackmail through threatening to expose a hidden secret.

“Rather, she has two simple requests. The opportunity was previously promised to her. Dasharatha said she could ask for whatever she wanted. Kaikeyi was now ready to make use of the benediction. It is like someone receiving a gift card to a store but waiting until a later time to go shopping.

“These two requests upend the entire society. Suddenly, Shri Rama is out. Not only as next king, but also as a resident of Ayodhya. Rama’s wife Sita Devi goes with Him. So does Rama’s younger brother Lakshmana. They are ready to suffer, to play out a sort of punishment.

“Why did anyone go along with this? That is my question. I get the whole thing about chivalry, honor, and righteousness, but come on! This is real life we are talking about. Should we not apply the rules in a practical manner? If the driving manual says to not cross over a double-yellow line on the street, there is obviously some leniency when an obstructing vehicle is in the way. I believe even Ravana criticized Rama over this issue, that the natural strength of the kshatriya was suppressed over the desires of a woman.

“People are selfish in this world. Wake up to it. This doesn’t mean that good and honest people have to accommodate their every demand. Shouldn’t Rama have asserted Himself a little? Shouldn’t someone have stepped in and breathed common sense into the room, if you know what I mean?”

कामार्तस्तु महातेजाः पिता दशरथस्स्वयम्।।
कैकेय्याः प्रियकामार्थं तं रामं नाभ्यषेचयत्।

kāmārtastu mahātejāḥ pitā daśarathassvayam।।
kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmārthaṃ taṃ rāmaṃ nābhyaṣecayat।

“Being under the control of passion and lust, Rama’s father, Maharaja Dasharatha, wanted to fulfill Kaikeyi’s cherished desire, thus he did not go through with Rama’s installation ceremony.” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.12)

A simple way to understand genuine spiritual life is appreciation. This appreciation is the result of knowledge. Both knowledge into how things operate and subsequent acknowledgment of the efforts of others. In a cultured society, people show appreciation, especially for those things which are important.

If a person says they do not insist on being appreciated for work, they are not being entirely honest. The employee looks to their compensation for evidence of just how much the employer values their contribution. The wife likes to be acknowledged for the sacrifices she makes to run the home. The husband the same for his earning a living.

In every sphere of activity, there is a desire for appreciation, and so Vedic culture accounts for that issue from the very beginning of the life experience. Children show respect to their parents and to their teachers. These figures are known as guru for this reason; their influence is heavy and significant. The parents and the teachers are to be respected.

The parents show respect to their elders and the elders pay respect to those who came before them. There would be no world to speak of were it not for the gifts from above, the heavenly shower, in both the literal and figurative senses.

अन्नाद् भवन्ति भूतानि
पर्जन्याद् अन्न-सम्भवः
यज्ञाद् भवति पर्जन्यो
यज्ञः कर्म-समुद्भवः

annād bhavanti bhūtāni
parjanyād anna-sambhavaḥ
yajñād bhavati parjanyo
yajñaḥ karma-samudbhavaḥ

“All living bodies subsist on food grains, which are produced from rain. Rains are produced by performance of yajna [sacrifice], and yajna is born of prescribed duties.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 3.14)

Bhagavad-gita describes how yajna is the way for showing gratitude, in a steady manner. The ultimate beneficiary of yajna is Vishnu. Therefore, another name for Him is Yajneshvara. He is the ultimate enjoyer of all sacrifices; everything is actually in His honor.

Pious behavior in the human life aligns with this yajna. It is sacrifice for a higher purpose. Without showing appreciation, a person is a miser. The Sanskrit word is kripana. His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada recommends adopting the mindset of the brahmana, who is the direct opposite of the kripana in terms of showing appreciation.

With the issue of Kaikeyi making requests of her husband, Dasharatha followed through as a matter of righteousness. It was a sacrifice in the sense that he was remaining true to his word. This maintained the good name of the family. By sacrificing in this way, the king was showing appreciation to those who appeared before him in the family.

The same applied to Rama, who is renunciation personified. He is not affected by work in the material world, but He still works to set the proper example. Whether others exploit or show deference makes no difference on His disposition. Saintly people inherit this trait. They tend to follow the path of dharma no matter the interference thrown their way, the intense envy cast upon them, or the words of derision from those who are dictated only by the impulses of the senses, ajitendriyah.

In Closing:

The promise to throw away,
Taking the easy way.

At Kaikeyi to laugh,
Those boons only a gaffe.

But Dasharatha fulfilling instead,
Always by dharma led.

Appreciation for ancestors showing,
Even his son in this path going.

Categories: questions

Tags: etiquette, hare krishna, poem, poems, poetry, ramayana, religion