“The wealth, home, happiness, well-wishers, mother, father, and brother which do not help in turning one’s face towards Shri Rama’s lotus feet should burn.” (Dohavali, 139)

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जरउ सो संपति सदन सुखु सुहद मातु पितु भाइ
सनमुख होत जो राम पद करै न सहस सहाइ

jara’u sō sampati sadana sukhu suhr̥da mātu pitu bhā’i
sanamukha hōta jō rāmapada kara’i na sahasa sahā’i

The material world is full of dualities. In every corner, in every sphere, at every drop of sand falling from the hourglass of time, there are conditions that are opposite to one another.

A person is taking birth, while another person is dying. One person is happy, while another is sad. One person is enthusiastic about the upcoming week, while another person is so depressed that they are contemplating ending it all. One person raises the trophy in triumph, while the opponent feels dejected at the missed opportunity.

With respect to the genuine spiritual life passed down within the Vedic tradition, which has its origins in the one who is always without a beginning, anadi, and without an end, ananta, there are certain practices and tendencies which tend to garner respect and positive attention.

One of those tendencies is renouncing family attachment. Not necessarily spitting at the wife and children or cursing at the dreaded responsibility of having to maintain a family, but at least keeping a healthy distance from that which is temporary. The focus is on that which has endurance, as opposed to that which will not remain manifest for a long time.

नासतो विद्यते भावो नाभावो विद्यते सतः ।
उभयोरपि दृष्टोऽन्तस्त्वनयोस्तत्त्वदर्शिभिः ॥

nāsato vidyate bhāvo
nābhāvo vidyate sataḥ
ubhayor api dṛṣṭo ’ntas
tv anayos tattva-darśibhiḥ

“Those who are seers of the truth have concluded that of the nonexistent there is no endurance, and of the existent there is no cessation. This seers have concluded by studying the nature of both.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.16)

While most will appreciate this attempted implementation of renunciation, it can also invite scorn and condemnation. For instance, a person can criticize in such a manner:

“How could someone think of renouncing their family? Why is someone who leaves home worshiped? Should not the person who stays around, who deals with the difficulty, be considered more praiseworthy? How can God be pleased with cruelty towards dependents?”

In response, the person armed with knowledge can give a lengthy dissertation on the subject, referencing this sacred text and that famous collection of Sanskrit words, but a quicker retort is to simply ask a series of questions. These are rhetorical in nature, and they highlight the already well-established tendency towards renunciation in the subject area under discussion.

1. Have you ever heard of running clubs?

“Oh yeah, I saw the photos. They earned some certification or trophy. I forget which. It was a personal best for them. They completed that marathon in four hours and change. Don’t quote me on the number; I could never imagine running outside for that long. You lose me after about an hour.

“Yes, I am aware that this person has a family at home. They also put in long hours at the office. I guess they find the time to fit the training in. Who knows? I don’t really ask. Good for them. At least they take pleasure in something, even if it means they barely see their young children.”

2. Have you ever heard of triathlon clubs?

“This person is one of the higher ups in the company. They started much further down the line. They worked their way to the top. They have a lot of responsibility on their plate. Just see how they remain fit and strong.

“I once mentioned running marathons to them, and someone else in the group started laughing. That is because this corporate officer actually participates in something called Iron Man. I guess it is a triathlon; something with swimming, running, and maybe a few other exercises combined into a single competition.

“I asked them about it and they responded that they exercise every single day. They never fail to follow the routine. This is in addition to managing a multinational corporation. They have children at home. I guess everyone in the family understands the need to relieve the stress that accumulates.”

3. Have you ever heard of touring performances?

“Just see the sacrifices these people make. During their time of prominence, the industry was not as big as it is today. You had to do well in the local areas. You had to promote yourself with a steady schedule of performances. This meant that the performers were barely home.

“If you tallied up at the end, they had more performances in a single year than there were days in that year. They were regulars on airplanes. They had to travel so much that being at home felt like visiting a foreign country. Their children never got to see their father while growing up. This was the price of success.”

4. Have you ever heard of a mancave?

“I have to hand it to him, the place is well-decorated. I enjoyed my time there. A pool table, arcade machines, a giant television set, plenty of food and drink, and a comfortable seating area. My wife would never go for this. She would accuse me of trying to avoid her. I guess other husbands are more fortunate.”

5. Have you ever heard of daycare?

“I talked to that woman in accounting the other day. She is back to work after maternity leave. She said she is so happy to be here, that dropping her child off at daycare was the most relieving experience of her life. She chose the extended option, where the child stays in the facility until the evening hours. I am not one to judge, but I never realized that bringing a new life into this world could be that stressful.”

…

If there is criticism of devotees of the Supreme Lord worshiping renunciation, then it is not something to be embarrassed over. The tradition is passed down, as we get the definitive word from the women of Ayodhya. They admonished their husbands for not following Shri Rama, the beloved prince, when He was the life and soul of the entire community.

किं नु तेषां गृहैः कार्यं किं दारै: किं धनेन वा।
पुत्रैर्वा किं सुखैर्वापि ये न पश्यन्ति राघवम्।।

kiṃ nu teṣāṃ gṛhaiḥ kāryaṃ kiṃ dārai: kiṃ dhanena vā।
putrairvā kiṃ sukhairvāpi ye na paśyanti rāghavam।।

“Of what use are wealth, comforts and pleasures, home, wives, and sons if one is not able to see Shri Rama?” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 48.7)

The idea is not to necessarily escape or run away from other people. There is attention to responsibility, but the priorities are in the proper order. A wise person sees the interests of the Supreme Lord as topmost. The temporary relationships and enjoyments are just that, temporary. The link to the Divine Consciousness will stay. It is yoga in the truest sense, and such a person is never lost to the one who sees everything.

यो मां पश्यति सर्वत्र
सर्वं च मयि पश्यति
तस्याहं न प्रणश्यामि
स च मे न प्रणश्यति

yo māṁ paśyati sarvatra
sarvaṁ ca mayi paśyati
tasyāhaṁ na praṇaśyāmi
sa ca me na praṇaśyati

“For one who sees Me everywhere and sees everything in Me, I am never lost, nor is he ever lost to Me.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 6.30)

In Closing:

Are you not aware?
That tendency already there.

In mancave comfortable seat,
From family life to retreat.

Or miles on the road running,
Exhausted from care becoming.

For bhakti not an escape to find,
Rather way to keep God in mind.

Categories: dohavali 121-160, the five

Tags: children, family, god, hare krishna, hinduism, poem, poems, poetry, religion