“Of what use are wealth, comforts and pleasures, home, wives, and sons if one is not able to see Shri Rama?” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 48.7)

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किं नु तेषां गृहैः कार्यं किं दारै: किं धनेन वा
पुत्रैर्वा किं सुखैर्वापि ये न पश्यन्ति राघवम्

kiṃ nu teṣāṃ gṛhaiḥ kāryaṃ kiṃ dārai: kiṃ dhanena vā
putrairvā kiṃ sukhairvāpi ye na paśyanti rāghavam

1. A weekend in Vegas

“Hi, honey. Listen, I was talking to the guys. No, I didn’t call them. They called me, I swear. Anyway, one of them travels a lot, as you know. It is for their job. They are stopping in Las Vegas next month, for a week. They wanted to know if I would be interested in visiting them, for a few days. It would be one weekend and that’s it. I don’t even want to go, but you know how lonely he gets. It would be to cheer him up. I will only gamble a little bit. Just enough to keep the party going.  I won’t have any fun at all. I will miss you the entire time.”

2. Golfing

“Where do I think I am going? Why am I dressed like this? I am going golfing. Remember, I told you about this a week ago. It is my only day to relax. You see how stressed out I have been lately. Yes, I know the kids need a bath. They need new clothes, too. Can’t you call one of your friends to come and hang out? They have kids, too. Everyone will have a great time. I really need this. It is for my mental health. Do you want me hanging around here all day, sad and depressed, watching television?”

3. Buying a new television

“Honey, please don’t be upset. That delivery is for me. It is a new television. I know, I know, you think I already don’t do enough around the house. I swear, I will chip in some more. I will do the dishes tonight, promise. Oh, that’s right we are going out to eat later. Anyway, just let me have this. I won’t buy anything at all next year. I saw this in the store and the picture quality was incredible. Those football games will look great. Oh, yeah, of course you can use it, too. For your reality television shows. Oh, I am not saying you watch too much tv. I know how much you do around here. I appreciate it all, too.”

…

We can take the core of the hypothetical situations above and transition to any sort of request or desire from the husband, who is supposed to be the man of the house, and see a similar struggle play out. This has been the natural course ever since marriage first took place. Despite the many pleas from spiritual leaders and well-respected matriarchs for the wives to be obedient and kind, the dynamic does not always follow the suggested model.

If the wife makes trouble, the husband will be miserable. The husband, therefore, tries to avoid trouble. If he avoids it too much then it looks like he is disinterested. Apathy is almost a greater crime than constant absence due to outside interests. The two parties, committed to one another in a holy bond, try their best to maintain a delicate balance.

The roles reversing tends to create a humorous situation. When the wife wants something, to go somewhere, or to have fun in a specific setting, the husband tends to agree. Almost too quickly, in fact, like he wants to get rid of the wife. Remove her from the scene so that he can enjoy in peace and quiet, if only for a little while.

To this end we consider the situation in the homes in Ayodhya, during ancient times. The wives asserted themselves. They were not docile. They were not subdued due to fear of breaching etiquette. They took what any household man would consider important and tore it down, figuratively. This is the way to fight back, after all. With words and holding interests as a kind of ransom.

The wives scolded their husbands for placing too much interest in home, wives, children, and enjoyable items. The rhetorical follow-up question is what is left. Is this not the purpose of a home? Is this not what people work for? If there is no interest in these things, then why go on living? Why work at all? Why earn money?

The wives in Ayodhya had justification for their admonishment. Something bad was taking place in the community. The beloved prince named Rama was being punished. He was sent to a life in exile, for fourteen years. He had not done anything wrong. He was targeted because of His impeccable reputation. Rama had the highest approval rating imaginable. Everyone in the community loved Him. They were eagerly anticipating the transfer of power, in King Dasharatha handing over the throne to his beloved eldest son, who was Rama.

कामार्तस्तु महातेजाः पिता दशरथस्स्वयम्
कैकेय्याः प्रियकामार्थं तं रामं नाभ्यषेचयत्

kāmārtastu mahātejāḥ pitā daśarathassvayam
kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmārthaṃ taṃ rāmaṃ nābhyaṣecayat

“Being under the control of passion and lust, Rama’s father, Maharaja Dasharatha, wanted to fulfill Kaikeyi’s cherished desire, thus he did not go through with Rama’s installation ceremony.” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.12)

Except one person decided to interfere and spoil the entire proposal. She cashed in on two boons previously promised to her. There was ill intent. There was wickedness and envy at the foundation. Kaikeyi insisted that her son, Bharata, be made the next king. She also asked that Rama be banished from the kingdom, to keep anyone from standing in the way of Bharata and his ascension.

The wives in Ayodhya were so appalled at the events that were unfolding that they decided to make a stand. They were wondering why the husbands weren’t as eager. After all, of what use is all of the comfort in the world if it comes at the cost of losing Rama? Rather, the wives would move to wherever Rama was going. The people would take Ayodhya with them. This way Kaikeyi could live with her son in an empty kingdom, with a title valid in name only.

In Closing:

As valid in name only,
With title left lonely.

Because the people with Him to go,
Their only protector to know.

That Rama the kindness of all,
The center of household to call.

No use enjoyable items for,
If placed devotion before.

Categories: the three

Tags: dailyprompt, hare krishna, marriage, poem, poems, poetry, relationships