The Gripings of Old Men

By krishnasmercy on February 26, 2026 • ( 0 )

“Of what use are wealth, comforts and pleasures, home, wives, and sons if one is not able to see Shri Rama?” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 48.7)

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किं नु तेषां गृहैः कार्यं किं दारै: किं धनेन वा
पुत्रैर्वा किं सुखैर्वापि ये न पश्यन्ति राघवम्

kiṃ nu teṣāṃ gṛhaiḥ kāryaṃ kiṃ dārai: kiṃ dhanena vā
putrairvā kiṃ sukhairvāpi ye na paśyanti rāghavam

“Listen, for some reason I fail to notice things around me. For instance, if shopping for a specific item in a store, I have the most difficult time finding it. I am the last person to complain about online retailers and how you can now use an app to get the stuff delivered to your door. I love searching for things using text. You know, words? The old fashioned way. Image recognition is not my strong suit. If there is a new restaurant or store that opens up on the main street of the city I live in, I never pick up on it. Someone else has to tell me.

“This is a roundabout way of explaining that I usually do not take stock of the demographic makeup of gatherings. If there is a comedian coming to town, I don’t look at the rest of the audience to see what ethnicity they are, to see if certain groups are appropriately represented. I simply do not care. I am there to consume the content, be it a show, a book, or a lecture by an esteemed guest.

“That is just my nature, but other people might be different. They notice. In this regard, they offer a complaint about the science of self-realization, as presented by the Vaishnava tradition of spirituality. The complaint relates to the recommendation for vairagya. The teachers portray family life in the worst light. His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada refers to various fixtures of life as hard knots of sense gratification. He did not make up this characterization, either. It is steady throughout the history of the tradition, in the passage of wisdom known as parampara, or disciplic succession.”

“Everyone comes to this material world attracted to sense gratification, and the hard knot of sense gratification is the attraction between male and female. By this attraction, one becomes overly attached to the material world in terms of griha-kshetra-suta-apta-vitta—that is, home, land, children, friends, money and so forth. Thus one becomes entangled in the bodily conception of ‘I’ and ‘mine.’” (Shrila Prabhupada, Shrimad Bhagavatam, 4.29.85 Purport)

“The complaint is that these are simply the sour grapes of old men who had bad experiences in family life. They were scorned by their wives. Maybe their own children turned out to be spoiled and ungrateful. The husbands decide to take to the renounced order of life, in a sort of self-credentialing system, to give themselves credibility. They now assume the highest seat of authority, the vyasasana, and decry the trappings of family life, which involve home, children, and friends.

“Is there not some validity to the criticism? From the people who notice that it is only the old men who are complaining. It is the perfect excuse, if you think about it. On the outside, you look like you are doing something good. On the inside, this is the revenge you have been looking for. You now have sufficient justification for criticizing the many offenses you believe you received. You have statements from shastra to justify your words, which others might consider abusive. You have finally won the argument against your wife, now that she is far away, in the distance. Based on your new spiritual position, she is forbidden from even seeing you, let alone responding.”

That is one way to look at it, but then there is another angle of vision to consider. For the person who has struggled, who is kind and compassionate, who wants the best for others, there is the inclination towards protection. In other words, they do not want others to suffer in the same way. Through proper instruction, through the evidence available via sound, known as shabda-pramana, they can pass along wisdom which is already flawless. There is no need to pass further quality assurance tests. Often times, the person offering the wisdom has seen for themselves. They have the pratyaksha-pramana to use as backup. They already went through a kind of clinical trial, to reach the proper conclusion.

“There are three kinds of evidence: pratyaksha, anumana and shabda. Pratyaksha means ‘direct evidence.’ Direct evidence is not very good because our senses are not perfect. We are seeing the sun daily, and it appears to us just like a small disc, but it is actually far, far larger than many planets. Of what value is this seeing? Therefore we have to read books; then we can understand about the sun. So direct experience is not perfect. Then there is anumana, inductive knowledge: ‘It may be like this’—hypothesis. For instance, Darwin’s theory says it may be like this, it may be like that. But that is not science. That is a suggestion, and it is also not perfect. But if you receive the knowledge from the authoritative sources, that is perfect.” (Shrila Prabhupada, Shri Ishopanishad, Introduction)

It must also be acknowledged that the instruction is not limited to vairagya, or renunciation. There is a corresponding pravritti, or positive action. Indeed, the positive is more important and effective when applied in this particular discipline. In bhakti-yoga, the engagement of the senses in hearing, chanting, worshiping, and the like has the potency to overcome any lingering deficiencies caused by attachments. We have two noteworthy examples from history.

We travel back in time, to a household, of all places. A setting in which the potential for attachment flourishes, where the hard knot of sense gratification only gets tighter and tighter. Within that setting we find the exact same instruction, but this time offered in a harsh and biting manner. From an angry wife, no less, who is dressing down her unsuspecting husband. She wants to know why there is no eagerness to follow the prince of Ayodhya into the wilderness. Why are the husbands complacent, in fact? Why are they so attached to their home, children, and comforts? If the opportunity for seeing Rama is lost, then there is no meaning to such attachments.

Notice that the instruction, delivered via an admonishment, is not from an old man. It is not from someone failing in material life. It is not from someone otherwise unhappy in marriage. Rather, it is from a devoted soul. From someone who wants everything for Rama, even if at the cost of personal comfort. The wives of Ayodhya are prepared to take the city with them, to make Rama feel at home wherever He might have to travel.

In another instance, we have the elderly men of Gokula. They are the leaders of the community. This time, the focus of attention is the same Rama, but in His appearance in this world as Krishna. The old men were not attached to their surroundings. They were not interested in their land to the detriment of Krishna. Because of recent inexplicable falls, where Krishna was at the center of the danger, the men decide to abruptly move. They will find a different place, a great forest, and call it home. They do this to keep Krishna safe.

स्थानेनेह न नः कार्यं व्रजामो ऽन्यन् महावनम्
उत्पाता बहवो ह्य् अत्र दृश्यन्ते नाशहेतवः

पूतनाया विनाशश् च शकटस्य विपर्ययः
विना वातादिदोषेण द्रुमयोः पतनं तथा

वृन्दावनम् इतः स्थानात् तस्माद् गच्छाम मा चिरम्
यावद् भौममहोत्पातदोषो नाभिभवेद् व्रजम्

sthāneneha na naḥ kāryaṃ vrajāmo ‘nyan mahāvanam
utpātā bahavo hy atra dṛśyante nāśahetavaḥ

pūtanāyā vināśaś ca śakaṭasya viparyayaḥ
vinā vātādidoṣeṇa drumayoḥ patanaṃ tathā

vṛndāvanam itaḥ sthānāt tasmād gacchāma mā ciram
yāvad bhaumamahotpātadoṣo nābhibhaved vrajam

“It is not proper to remain in this place. Let us go to another great forest, as here we have seen numerous calamities which are causes of ruin. The destruction of Putana and the reversal of the cart, and similarly the falling of the trees without the intervention of the wind. Therefore, let us without delay depart from Gokula to Vrindavana, where the earthly calamities will not overpower us.” (Vishnu Purana, 5.6.22-24)