Before the Loss

By krishnasmercy on October 9, 2026 • ( 0 )

“The Blessed Lord said: While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor the dead.” (Bhagavad-gita, 2.11)

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श्री भगवानुवाच
अशोच्यनन्वशोचस्त्वं प्रज्ञावादांश्च भाषसे
गतासूनगतासूंश्च नानुशोचन्ति पण्डिताः

śrī-bhagavān uvāca
aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ
prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase
gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca
nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ

In the following hypothetical account, you have a friend. You care for them deeply. You wish them well. You know what makes them happy. You know what makes them sad. At the present moment, they are incredibly sad. They have suffered a terrible loss. There is not much you can do. It is not like you can bring back the person who has departed.

The thing is, you want to do something. You want to ease the burden of grief. You want to lift your friend up. You also want to avoid saying the wrong thing. Is it appropriate to bring up a trivial matter, like the weather or the news? What about focusing on the things that happened to you recently? Does your friend really want to hear any of that? Is it offensive if you begin an informal counselling session? If they are seeking counsel, just what exactly should you say?

If the same were to happen to you, what would you want to hear? How would you respond to the situation? It would be devastating, in fact. The trauma would be so severe that you shutter to think of the potential. Better to leave that room, close the door, lock it, and find another place. Turn off the dream, which is actually a nightmare, and move the mind to a better place.

One approach for dealing with the potential is preparation. Consider the sadness today. Right now, assign highest priority in terms of attachment. The object of attachment could be a person, a home, a car, a job, or even a general setting. Prepare for the eventual removal. This separation was guaranteed as soon as there was attachment, in fact. That is the nature of the world in which we live. We can curse our predicament. We can be upset at how things are, but our viewpoint does not change the landscape.

सर्व-योनिषु कौन्तेय
मूर्तयः सम्भवन्ति याः
तासां ब्रह्म महद् योनिर्
अहं बीज-प्रदः पिता

sarva-yoniṣu kaunteya
mūrtayaḥ sambhavanti yāḥ
tāsāṁ brahma mahad yonir
ahaṁ bīja-pradaḥ pitā

“It should be understood that all species of life, O son of Kunti, are made possible by birth in this material nature, and that I am the seed-giving father.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 14.4)

We are so fortunate in that the highest being of all, the one who is at the source of everything that exists, gave a similar presentation a long time ago. The person on the receiving end, who required the counsel, was in grief prior to the separation. That person was so kind and compassionate that he was worried about others. He did not want to be the cause of their grief. He did not want to bring about needless suffering.

उत्सन्न-कुल-धर्माणां
मनुष्याणां जनार्दन
नरके नियतं वासो
भवतीत्य् अनुशुश्रुम

utsanna-kula-dharmāṇāṁ
manuṣyāṇāṁ janārdana
narake niyataṁ vāso
bhavatīty anuśuśruma

“O Krishna, maintainer of the people, I have heard by disciplic succession that those who destroy family traditions dwell always in hell.” (Arjuna, Bhagavad-gita, 1.43)

The teacher in that case explained that the wise person does not lament for the dead. The living will soon be dead. The reality will manifest at a point in time. Therefore, the wise person also does not lament for the living. Is this a harsh thing to say? Is this a cruel reminder to the grief-stricken? Shri Hanuman offered similar counsel moments after a lady became a widow. Hanuman compared the body to a bubble and the individual to a traveler, who goes wherever their deeds, both good and bad, take them.

गुणदोषकृतं जन्तुस्स्वकर्म फलहेतुकम्
अव्यग्रस्तदवाप्नोति सर्वं प्रेत्य शुभाशुभम्

guṇadoṣakṛtaṃ jantussvakarma phalahetukam
avyagrastadavāpnoti sarvaṃ pretya śubhāśubham

“Driven by a virtuous or evil purpose, each living entity performs some work, which has consequences associated with it. After death, the same person steadily reaps all those auspicious and inauspicious results.” (Hanuman speaking to Tara, Valmiki Ramayana, Kishkindha Kand, 21.2)

Before the loss even takes place, understand that it was destined to occur. The individual departing is eternal in nature. They are sanatana. The best use of our time is to work in a way such that the sanatana individual returns to the realm which is imperishable, akshara. That was the aim of the instruction from Krishna to Arjuna. That should be the aim of all kinds of instruction, be it to raise someone out of grief or to simply inform them of the meaning of life.

If someone knows the truth, if they sufficiently prepare, if they are well-educated and at the highest standard of culture, arya, they still may fall down. They still might give way to grief. Fortunately, the same Supreme Lord is there to lift the individual back up. He did this for Arjuna, and He is there for us through His words, through His tradition, and through His teachers, all three of which travel on parallel lines.

“The purpose of knowledge is to understand distinctly that the living entity has by chance fallen into this material existence. By his personal endeavor in association with authorities, saintly persons and a spiritual master, he has to understand his position and then revert to spiritual consciousness or Krishna consciousness by understanding Bhagavad-gita as it is explained by the Personality of Godhead.” (Shrila Prabhupada, Bhagavad-gita, 13.24 Purport)

In Closing:

What if stumbled into grief?
And then desperate for relief.

What wishing others to say?
Is there even a suitable way?

Consider the potential right now,
The living eventually departing how.

Attempt towards arya platform raising,
One reason why Krishna in Gita praising.