“The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: My dear Prahlada, O most pure, O great saintly person, your father has been purified, along with twenty-one forefathers in your family. Because you were born in this family, the entire dynasty has been purified.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 7.10.18)

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श्री-भगवान् उवाच
त्रिः-सप्तभिः पिता पूतः
पितृभिः सह ते ’नघ
यत् साधो ’स्य कुले जातो
भवान् वै कुल-पावनः

śrī-bhagavān uvāca
triḥ-saptabhiḥ pitā pūtaḥ
pitṛbhiḥ saha te ’nagha
yat sādho ’sya kule jāto
bhavān vai kula-pāvanaḥ

You are in the position. There is no turning back now. You can try to make every excuse in the book. Your instinct is to run away, and in order to make that sankalpa true, satya, you think of every justification there is. You can’t help but smile and remember Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, hesitant to proceed in a war that would inevitably lead to immense bloodshed.

सञ्जय उवाच
एवम् उक्त्वार्जुनः सङ्ख्ये
रथोपस्थ उपाविशत्
विसृज्य स-शरं चापं
शोक-संविग्न-मानसः

sañjaya uvāca
evam uktvārjunaḥ saṅkhye
rathopastha upāviśat
visṛjya sa-śaraṁ cāpaṁ
śoka-saṁvigna-mānasaḥ

“Sanjaya said: Arjuna, having thus spoken on the battlefield, cast aside his bow and arrows and sat down on the chariot, his mind overwhelmed with grief.” (Bhagavad-gita, 1.46)

The predicament of which we speak is parenting. You are the protector of a young child. You take the role seriously. You are not content with delegating responsibility to someone else, such as a surrogate caretaker or a school system. You want the best possible outcome.

The only issue is that you are unsure of what success looks like. How do you know if you have done a good job as a parent? How much influence do you actually have? Is not every person an individual, with their own likes and dislikes? Does not every person choose their own path?

To get a better idea, you talk to different people. You listen to their stories. You hear what makes them proud, what makes them happiest when looking back on the experience of parenting.

1. My child is a doctor

“Not one, but all three of them. I forced them into it. I don’t regret it for a moment. I vividly recall that one day when my middle child expressed a desire to become an artist. My wife and I looked at each other for a moment. A pregnant pause, if you will.

“Then we both burst out laughing. No way was that acceptable. They were all going to be doctors, whether they liked it or not. Just see how well they are doing today. They are respected in their field. They have nice families. I think I did the right thing. No regrets.”

2. My child started college at the age of twelve

“Seriously, I had no idea that was even a thing. It just sort of happened. We decided to homeschool. I was not pleased with the school system. They cater to the average or below-average. I saw my children sitting in the classroom for hours, with nothing to do.

“Being taught at home accelerated their learning. They picked up so much, so quickly. When they entered college at such a young age, they did just fine. They kept up with the older students. Can you imagine? They turned out to be geniuses.”

3. My child is the leader of a large company

“They are the CEO. They fly in a private jet. They hold so many shares in the company. They are responsible for wonderful, innovative products being brought to market. I attribute their success to our strong insistence on learning. Our child went to the finest academies. We made sure they earned the highest marks on standardized tests. They were highly recruited when completing high school and college.”

4. My child lives in a wealthy area

“We came from nothing. We grew up dirt poor. We didn’t mind it at the time, but I vowed to never have the same repeat for my child. They would do better than their parents. They would not have to struggle.

“Just see what has happened. My child lives in one of the most exclusive communities in the country. There are multiple guards at the front gate. The plush grounds are meticulously landscaped. The garden is so large that it has its own garden. I love visiting that place, knowing that I played a role in bringing happiness to the next generation.”

5. My child has liberated twenty-one forefathers in their family

Admittedly, it would be rare to meet someone who claimed as such. They would require direct confirmation from a higher authority. There is the known instance of Prahlada Maharaja, as described in Shrimad Bhagavatam.

Prahlada, only five years of age at the time, was told of his achievement by Narasimhadeva. This was a unique incarnation of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Vishnu. Prahlada was concerned with the fate of his father.

Hiranyakashipu had just been slain by Narasimhadeva. Vishnu descended in that specific avatara to protect Prahlada, who was the victim of potentially lethal attacks from the father. Hiranyakashipu was briefly interested in the happiness of his son, until Prahlada showed unwavering allegiance to Vishnu.

That child was so saintly that despite the abuse he suffered from the father, he wondered what would happen going forward. Narasimhadeva confirmed that since such a saintly person was born in that family, multiple previous generations would automatically be liberated.

As it relates to our personal situation, there is a way to assess whether our children are happy. In the true sense, is there bliss of the transcendental variety? Is there the ability to tolerate highs and lows, ups and downs, in the knowledge of the changing seasons, which occur in a cycle?

मात्रा-स्पर्शास् तु कौन्तेय
शीतोष्ण-सुख-दुःख-दाः
आगमापायिनो ऽनित्यास्
तांस् तितिक्षस्व भारत

mātrā-sparśās tu kaunteya
śītoṣṇa-sukha-duḥkha-dāḥ
āgamāpāyino ‘nityās
tāṁs titikṣasva bhārata

“O son of Kunti, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.14)

Does the child feel renewing enthusiasm to connect with transcendence? Is there a fervent desire to serve the one who protected Prahlada? Is there practical realization of the knowledge of the soul? Is there the absence of hopelessness and despair?

There is no absolute ability to influence. Every person is an individual, after all. But if my child has found their long-lost friend, then I probably have done a decent-enough job. If my child feels a connection to God the person, then I must have done something right.

If my child shows an interest in liberation, in helping others to find the path of transcendence, in the model of the mahajanas like Prahlada and Bhishma, then my interest in the role of parent at least led to something noteworthy and worthwhile.

In Closing:

Wanting real happiness to find,
To always keep Hari in mind.

That from single verse taking,
A blissful day making.

And to others showing the way,
How in transcendence to stay.

Like Prahlada and mahajanas path,
Father giving benefits to last.

Categories: the five

Tags: children, god, hare krishna, parenting, poem, poems, poetry, religion