“One who is not disturbed in spite of the threefold miseries, who is not elated when there is happiness, and who is free from attachment, fear and anger, is called a sage of steady mind.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 2.56)

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दुःखेष्वनुद्विग्न‍मनाः सुखेषु विगतस्पृहः ।
वीतरागभयक्रोधः स्थिधीर्मुनिरुच्यते ॥

duḥkheṣv anudvigna-manāḥ
sukheṣu vigata-spṛhaḥ
vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhaḥ
sthita-dhīr munir ucyate

“Let it go. Move on. Carry forward. The past is the past. Nothing you can do about it now. Live and learn. C’est la vie. That is life. Why keep dwelling on the past?

“This is the advice you hear, but I have a difficult time accepting it. You have no idea what I go through. You have no idea the anger and resentment that I hold inside. I feel so offended by others, so victimized, so taken advantage of, that I am anxiously awaiting the moment of revenge.

“Don’t tell me to get over it. You would never be able to tolerate the same insults. You sit there and throw out these platitudes, thinking that you are above it all, but I have seen you get angry, as well. In the moment, I keep my distance. I don’t want to throw gasoline on the fire, if you know what I mean. I don’t want to exacerbate an already tense situation.

“How is anyone supposed to get over these incidents? The pain is real. It could be a close friend turning on you, for no reason. You cannot believe they could stoop so low. They are beyond degraded in their behavior. Better to spend time with enemies, if you have friends like that.

“Is there a solution offered by spiritual life? Something with more substance than the recommendation to chant more rounds. Practical advice that goes beyond sacrificing your life to God. Is there a way we can actually deal with these issues so that they do not linger?”

In this case, the issue is not the offense itself, but rather its lingering presence within the mind. It is like the record playing on repeat. That song heard from the radio now stuck in our head. That video running on a playback loop on the screen in the waiting room of the doctor’s office.

Within the scope of the teachings of the Vedic tradition, anger of this kind is the result of unfulfilled desires. A disruption to the proceedings, as they were first conceived. For instance, I sat down in the car at the usual time this morning. I was ready to head to the office, following the regular routine.

There was a disruption, however. That desire, though not explicitly stated or contemplated for too long, could not be met. I was late in arriving to the office. There was traffic on the road. The government authorities decided to choose today of all days to do construction, blocking out a major portion of the highway.

With lingering anger and resentment, there was likely obstruction relating to a strong desire. Someone interfered in my ability to carry out my duties. I had planned a certain kind of sense enjoyment and there was an interruption. The cause was pettiness, envy, or lack of basic consideration.

The solution is to be free of sense desire. Eliminate kama. While the desired state of being is simple to understand, reaching that destination is anything but easy. It is for this reason that an entire discipline exists, with the components collectively known as dharma. We can also call it yoga, but with a specific purpose in mind.

Within that discipline there are the two assistants. They are like powerups or sub-weapons in a video game. Jnana and vairagya. Knowledge and renunciation. Through knowledge I better understand what the world is like, how society operates, how the mind works, and what to expect when interacting with others. As much as I occasionally succumb to illusion, others carry the same vulnerability.

Vairagya is removing attachment to what is not needed. Voluntarily imposing some kind of austerity for moving into a higher mode of living. Jnana and vairagya work together; they complement one another. Jnana provides the theoretical foundation for removing kama, and vairagya is the practical implementation of the theory.

Another approach is to maintain the same desire, but change the beneficiary. Work for the interests of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. In this pursuit, happiness and sadness, good times and bad, praise and scorn, and other conditions in duality make no impact on the enthusiasm and confidence moving forward.

“The sthita-dhi-muni is always in Krishna consciousness, for he has exhausted all his business of creative speculation. He has surpassed the stage of mental speculations and has come to the conclusion that Lord Shri Krishna, or Vasudeva, is everything. He is called a muni fixed in mind.” (Shrila Prabhupada, Bhagavad-gita, 2.56 Purport)

The work is for Vasudeva, who is the Supreme Lord. I have no reason to maintain resentment when I am well aware of the dwindling nature of the situations we create and the relationships we form. The cause for that resentment will not remain for long, so why should I hold on to any negative emotions? Rather, I will stay with transcendence in full, who is the source of everything.

In Closing:

In false blame pointed the finger,
Now that resentment to linger.

Anxiously awaiting revenge,
When that insult to avenge.

Defect from imprint on mind,
Like playback loop to find.

Best focusing on longer term,
Discipline from Krishna to learn.

Categories: questions

Tags: god, hare krishna, hinduism, leadership, poem, poems, poetry, religion