If The Forgiveness Is Fake

By krishnasmercy on December 12, 2025 • ( 0 )

“’O naughty child, now try going from here, if you can.’ Having spoken thus, she returned to her household duties.” (Vishnu Purana, 5.6.15)

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यदि शक्नोषि गच्छ त्वम् अतिचञ्चलचेष्टित
इत्य् उक्त्वा च निजं कर्म सा चकार कुटुम्बिनी

yadi śaknoṣi gaccha tvam aticañcalaceṣṭita
ity uktvā ca nijaṃ karma sā cakāra kuṭumbinī

“During childhood, were you ever compelled to offer an apology? They say it should be sincere and heartfelt. Today, I am talking about the ones that were fake and reluctant. It was the last thing you wanted to do. Your parents made you say that you were sorry, when the entire time you were upset that the other person complained. In your eyes, they had it coming. You were happy with what you did. It was nice to get revenge. You didn’t feel bad for them, at all. They should stop crying like a baby.

“What about when the roles are reversed? Did someone ever apologize to you when you knew they didn’t mean it? Did someone ever offer forgiveness for something that you might have done, but you feel like they were trying to use that forgiveness as a commodity? They were being the better person, you see. They really didn’t want to forgive. The forgiveness was fake. They were making a show of it. Offering grace to present a better face.

“These are things I contemplate every so often. Not that forgiving someone is bad or that intentionally hurting someone is good. To me, it would be nice if people just said what they mean and mean what they say. Take ownership and accountability for your actions. Stop trying to patronize me. I think society would be in a better place if people were forthright and open.

“This got me to thinking about worship, especially since you are always pushing devotional service, which is bhakti-yoga. Think of how many people worship just because they feel compelled to. Like they are afraid of punishment. They are being subtly nudged along, forced to make offerings before a deity that they think has control over outcomes. I don’t even call that devotion. How can you? It is like a business transaction. It is like a prisoner bargaining for early parole.

“Why would the object of worship ever appreciate that kind of relationship? Wouldn’t it be better if people weren’t so afraid? If I complain when the forgiveness is fake, imagine how God must feel when the worship is fake.”

This is the entire objective of the culture of bhakti-yoga, to reach a position of pure and unmotivated devotion. Shrimad Bhagavatam declares that attaining such a platform is itself the definition of religion. It does not necessarily matter how the individual reaches the destination. The path might be different for you than it is for me. I might read a different book, eat different kinds of food, and speak a different language. If we both reach the stage of pure devotion, then the steps we took along the way, which can be called dharma, are valid.

स वै पुंसां परो धर्मो
यतो भक्तिर् अधोक्षजे
अहैतुक्य् अप्रतिहता
ययात्मा सुप्रसीदति

sa vai puṁsāṁ paro dharmo
yato bhaktir adhokṣaje
ahaituky apratihatā
yayātmā suprasīdati

“The supreme occupation [dharma] for all humanity is that by which men can attain to loving devotional service unto the transcendent Lord. Such devotional service must be unmotivated and uninterrupted to completely satisfy the self.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 1.2.6)

Pivoting off the example from above, do we know of instances where the forgiveness is real? A case where someone says that they are sorry and they actually mean it. They have carefully considered the matter. They have reviewed the particulars and determined that there were offenses made. How about an instance where a person chooses to forgive because they understand the innocence in the mistakes of the perpetrator?

श्रीप्रह्राद उवाच
वरं वरय एतत्ते वरदेशान्महेश्वर
यदनिन्दत्पिता मे त्वामविद्वांस्तेज ऐश्वरम्
विद्धामर्षाशय: साक्षात्सर्वलोकगुरुं प्रभुम्
भ्रातृहेति मृषाद‍ृष्टिस्त्वद्भ‍क्ते मयि चाघवान्
तस्मात्पिता मे पूयेत दुरन्ताद् दुस्तरादघात्
पूतस्तेऽपाङ्गसंद‍ृष्टस्तदा कृपणवत्सल

śrī-prahrāda uvāca
varaṁ varaya etat te
varadeśān maheśvara
yad anindat pitā me
tvām avidvāṁs teja aiśvaram

viddhāmarṣāśayaḥ sākṣāt
sarva-loka-guruṁ prabhum
bhrātṛ-heti mṛṣā-dṛṣṭis
tvad-bhakte mayi cāghavān

tasmāt pitā me pūyeta
durantād dustarād aghāt
pūtas te ’pāṅga-saṁdṛṣṭas
tadā kṛpaṇa-vatsala

“Prahlada Maharaja said: O Supreme Lord, because You are so merciful to the fallen souls, I ask You for only one benediction. I know that my father, at the time of his death, had already been purified by Your glance upon him, but because of his ignorance of Your beautiful power and supremacy, he was unnecessarily angry at You, falsely thinking that You were the killer of his brother. Thus he directly blasphemed Your Lordship, the spiritual master of all living beings, and committed heavily sinful activities directed against me, Your devotee. I wish that he be excused for these sinful activities.” (Shrimad Bhagavatam, 7.10.15-17)

We have the ideal example in Prahlada Maharaja. Though he was only five years of age, he had a better understanding of the human psychology than his father, who was the king named Hiranyakashipu. Prahlada offered genuine forgiveness. He really meant it. There was no interest to be furthered, as his father had been vanquished in a violent conflict only moments prior. Prahlada asked for forgiveness from someone who could make it happen. The petitioner understood that Hiranyakashipu could have the slate wiped clean, so to speak.

The forgiveness was real because Prahlada understood the depths to which a person can fall when their senses are left uncontrolled. They can do unspeakable and regrettable things, to the most innocent of victims. Prahlada was on the receiving end of lethal attacks. These were instigated by his envious father. The forgiveness from Prahlada was real, and so was the worship from the child towards the awe-inspiring Narasimha.

As there is a real version of forgiveness, there are also instances of genuine worship. If God were to live in our community, appearing right before our eyes on a daily basis, how would we view Him? We might ask Him to relieve our distresses. We might request financial assistance. We might look to find a situation free of anxiety, where we no longer have to worry about the future.

चतुर्-विधा भजन्ते मां
जनाः सुकृतिनो ऽर्जुन
आर्तो जिज्ञासुर् अर्थार्थी
ज्ञानी च भरतर्षभ

catur-vidhā bhajante māṁ
janāḥ sukṛtino ‘rjuna
ārto jijñāsur arthārthī
jñānī ca bharatarṣabha

“O best among the Bharatas [Arjuna], four kinds of pious men render devotional service unto Me – the distressed, the desirer of wealth, the inquisitive, and he who is searching for knowledge of the Absolute.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 7.16)

A long time ago, the people of Gokula had this very opportunity. They were blessed with the association of the Supreme Personality of Godhead in His avatara of Shri Krishna. Absent a dire emergency, the people did not ask anything of Krishna. They did not look to extract personal gain. Rather, they only offered loving service. They loved in the manner corresponding to their relationship.

A dutiful housewife like Yashoda has God living in her home as her son. She is the caring mother. She is not afraid to bind young Krishna to a mortar. She is not afraid to taunt Him after offering this mild punishment. She is not afraid to be a parent to someone who has no birth and no death. Krishna has control over the entire universe, but from the love of Yashoda the same Krishna comes under control.