“Those men who will again see Rama along with Sita, accompanied by the mighty-armed Lakshmana, returning home will be successful.” (Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 72.38)

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सिद्धार्थास्ते नरा राममागतं सह सीतया
लक्ष्मणं च महाबाहुं द्रक्ष्यन्ति पुनरागतम्

siddhārthāste narā rāmamāgataṃ saha sītayā
lakṣmaṇaṃ ca mahābāhuṃ drakṣyanti punarāgatam

“You hear this term bandied about in recent times. I didn’t hear it much when I was younger. Perhaps I was not paying attention. If there is a contentious issue, usually relating to public policy, a proponent might try to guilt others into following. They will warn that you don’t want to be on the ‘wrong side of history.’ One hundred years from today, you don’t want people to look back and wonder why you didn’t say something. They will put you in the category of the villains, the ones who sided with injustice, evil, and oppression.

“In this light, how do we view someone like Kaikeyi? The historical figure described in the Ramayana. She is the youngest wife to King Dasharatha of Ayodhya. To say she is a controversial character is an understatement. There are different layers and angles of vision. Not everyone carries the same intent, the same objectives, and the same level of forgiveness.

“We need forgiveness in her case, specifically, because of awful events that unfolded as a direct result of her desires. She cashed in on boons at the most inopportune time. It is similar to that gimmick in professional wrestling where one person carries around a briefcase as a token of their ability to demand a title match. Whenever they want. They simply trade in the briefcase for the opportunity. Well, Kaikeyi took her money in the bank and asked for two specific boons.

“Her son should be made the next king. The person who was supposed to be king should leave the kingdom and not return for fourteen years. This one intervention caused so much trouble. Her husband ended up dying, as a result. He died from sadness. The sadness was due to separation. The entire community of Ayodhya fell into despair, as their beloved Rama had to leave. The direct beneficiary, Bharata, was not even around to watch. He had to find out later on. He was so upset that he decided to never talk to Kaikeyi again. This was his own mother.

“What should our viewpoint be? We are studying the story thousands of years after the fact. How should we judge Kaikeyi? Is she good or bad? Or is there nuance and subtlety? I can just hear someone screaming at me right now, warning that women are no good. They will spoil everything, you see. They are the biggest troublemakers. Never give them any power or education. They are synonymous with ruination. That opinion seems a little extreme to me. At the same time, Kaikeyi did succumb to the female nature and demand something that wasn’t in her best interest. What is the proper balance?”

Consider the case where you are running into one of your friends. They are upset at the time. They are complaining about their parents. One curse after another. The biting words flow like a stream. Left and right they are taking verbal jabs at the people who raised them. On the inside, you are appalled. You would never consider dishonoring your own parents. You loved them. They are sacred to you. You think this friend of yours is showing the height of disrespect.

At the same time, this is not your experience. Your friend is sharing their testimony. There are things they went through. There are offenses that they personally witnessed. They hold on to the hostility. There is lingering resentment. The emotions are so high that they actually do not mean everything they are saying. They are kind of venting their frustrations. As an outside party, you do not really hold an opinion. You would like there to be respect, but this is not your fight.

In the same way, the people directly affected by Kaikeyi’s requests sometimes say negative things about her. They extend the blame to Dasharatha himself, who should have known better. For instance, Sita Devi, the wife of Rama, considers that Dasharatha fell under the influence of desire. That could be the only rational explanation for going along with a plan so injurious.

कामार्तस्तु महातेजाः पिता दशरथस्स्वयम्
कैकेय्याः प्रियकामार्थं तं रामं नाभ्यषेचयत्

kāmārtastu mahātejāḥ pitā daśarathassvayam
kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmārthaṃ taṃ rāmaṃ nābhyaṣecayat

“Being under the control of passion and lust, Rama’s father, Maharaja Dasharatha, wanted to fulfill Kaikeyi’s cherished desire, thus he did not go through with Rama’s installation ceremony.” (Sita Devi speaking to Ravana, Valmiki Ramayana, Aranya Kand, 47.12)

Lakshmana, who is one of Rama’s younger brothers, is so upset with the decision that he proposed mounting a coup. He will put Rama on the throne, by force. If violence is necessary, there is no issue in breaching protocol. The filial piety will go out the window. That is the price to pay for doing what is right. At least that is what Lakshmana thinks. Rama does not agree to the proposal, but He never turns away the association of His loyal brother.

Speaking of Rama, it appears that He is the only person in Ayodhya who does not hold a grudge. There is no lingering resentment. This is the appearance of the avatara, after all. The avatara has lila, which requires a narrative. What better act-break can you have than an envious co-wife taking advantage of a loophole? She takes something which is praiseworthy, the character trait of truthfulness, and uses it against her husband. This requires a sharp mind. It is said that the intelligence arrived to her through the intervention of Sarasvati Devi, who is the goddess of speech.

From our perspective, we can sit back and learn. We do not have to pass judgment, as we were not directly involved in the affairs. We can see what not to do. We can see the potential damage caused by kama, which is material desire. Envy can destroy an entire community. It can work against the person who is envious. If we want to remember Kaikeyi, we can see her as the guru with the greatest wisdom. After all, she acted like a tape recorder in relaying the final words of her dying husband. She spoke this wisdom to her own son, who then heard that the people seeing Sita, Rama, and Lakshmana return to Ayodhya would be successful in life, siddhartha.

In Closing:

From Kaikeyi’s turn,
To sit back and learn.

How from money in the bank,
Despair from envy drank.

Because of her requests two,
The next king and exile too.

But Rama never a grudge to hold,
Necessary for events to unfold.

Categories: questions

Tags: dailyprompt, hare krishna, poem, poems, poetry, ramayana