“I shall go with you today to the forest. There is no doubt about it. I cannot be prevented, O greatly fortunate one. I am ready to go.” (Sita Devi speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 27.15)

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सह त्वया गमिश्यामि वनमद्य न सम्शयः
नाहम् शक्या महाभाग निवर्तयितुम् उद्यता

saha tvayā gamiśyāmi vanamadya na samśayaḥ
nāham śakyā mahābhāga nivartayitum udyatā

1. Make sure to keep asking for things

“You want to know the secret to a successful marriage? Make sure to keep asking for stuff. Anything and everything. Your husband is the provider, is he not? Well, make sure he provides, then. Never let him get comfortable. He should always be on edge, paranoid about hearing your next demand.”

2. Make sure to criticize every decision he makes

“You want the secret to marital bliss? Criticize. Just what, exactly? Try, everything! Whatever he does. From the time he wakes up until the time he goes to sleep. How he breathes. How he walks. The clothes he wears. The types of food he eats. The music he listens to. Make sure you are vocal about how much you hate it. Make sure he never feels comfortable sharing any interest with you.”

3. Make sure to never acknowledge him when he leaves for work

“You want to make sure you are happy? Just ignore him. It is no big deal that he wakes up early in the morning to travel that distance to reach the office. Someone in the marriage has to work, don’t they? You keep sleeping. Do not bother waking up. Let him realize that your life does not revolve around him.”

4. Make sure to be on the smart device when he arrives home from work

“You want a great relationship? Just keep doing what you are doing. Watch that latest viral video, while the dishes pile up in the sink. Scroll to the next news story, while the living room is a mess. If the garbage is full in the kitchen, make him take it out. Make him pick up those packages that were delivered and placed outside the front door. He is the man of the house, is he not? Make sure he never forgets it.”

5. Research his greatest attachment and then exploit it for personal gain

“This is something you can work on from the first day. Just survey the situation. Quietly, while in the background, observe your husband’s behavior to find out what truly makes him happy. Then, make a note of it. Whenever you are in trouble, just bring up that interest. It might be an attachment. It might even be affection for your own children. Use that against him. Take it as a kind of ransom. That is a guaranteed way to always get what you want.”

…

It is a free country, is it not? Well, the boundaries of freedom vary depending on who you ask. One person protests peacefully, albeit in public, and gets hounded by law enforcement for years later. Another person literally spits in a police officer’s face and does not suffer any consequences. It all depends on what they look like, what cause they are fighting for, and how corrupt the leaders are. In truth, there is always a limit to freedom, as evidenced by the forces of nature. If I have to sleep at night, eat meals on time, and watch out for diseases brought upon by lack of control over personal behavior, it means that there is a force checking me.

While the freedom might be limited, there is certainly choice. In how to act. In which direction to travel. The signs strongly warn against entering a certain road. There are dangers up ahead, you see. There is trouble from making the wrong decision. Nevertheless, it is a decision. A person can still choose to go against the rules established for a particular domain.

And so the above reviewed situations are entirely possible. It may appear ridiculous on the surface, but the wife in this case has the opportunity to accept the advice. They can decide to make life at home as miserable as possible for their husband. They can turn into the most annoying companion. They can behave as if there are no consequences to this selfishness, in believing that the husband is essentially trapped.

If the husband in our example is in a position of authority, wherein he can benefit his dependents, is the approach suggested above a good one? Is it wise? Is it helpful? Would the husband appreciate such behavior from his wife? Step outside of the home for a moment. Would an employer promote an employee who was constantly inimical, entitled, and ungrateful? Would a commander of an armed military unit look to place such a person in charge?

Common sense says that the leaders would look for someone who behaved just the opposite, in fact. Someone who is respectful. Someone who is thoughtful. Someone who appreciates. Someone who willingly sacrifices, without making a big deal of it. Someone who understands what the leader goes through, in facing the pressures to provide and maintain. Someone who shows love, on a constant basis, without asking anything in return.

It therefore makes sense that someone like Sita Devi is the wife of Shri Rama. The best wife to go along with the best husband. The best princess to join with the best prince. The best daughter of a king to marry the best son of a king. The best servant to the best object of service. The most beloved in energy uniting with the source of energy personified. These are different ways to describe Sita and Rama, who are principal objects of worship within the Vedic tradition.

पूर्वां दिशं वज्रधरो दक्षिणां पातु ते यमः
वरुणः पश्चिमामाशां धनेशस्तूत्तरां दिशम्

pūrvāṃ diśaṃ vajradharo dakṣiṇāṃ pātu te yamaḥ
varuṇaḥ paścimāmāśāṃ dhaneśastūttarāṃ diśam

“May Indra protect you on the East, may Yama protect you on the South and Varuna on the West and Kuvera on the North.” (Sita Devi speaking to Lord Rama, Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhya Kand, 16.24)

When her husband leaves home for business, Sita kindly prays to the deities in charge of the various directions. She welcomes Rama with a smile when He returns. She is more prone to giving away gifts than demanding them from others. She is so service-oriented that she will not allow her husband to suffer. If there is a grave injustice that Rama has decided to accept, to not fight against, Sita will voluntarily take a share of the punishment. She will assume the burden, whether Rama likes it or not.

While the inimical wife creates growing resentment within the husband, the wonderful Sita reaches such a stature that Rama becomes helpless. He cannot dissuade her from entering the forest, in an excursion to last fourteen years. This is why the wise recommend devotional service, bhakti-yoga, as the highest goal of life. Act in ways that are favorable to the Almighty, whose transcendental qualities make Him worthy of service. Follow devotion without expectation of return and you just might reach a position where the Supreme Lord feels eternally obliged to you, as a result.

In Closing:

Repeated criticism to state,
Daily havoc to create.

Never a sacrifice to make,
Always looking to take.

On path leading to reproach,
For wife not wisest approach.

When favorable eternally blessed,
Like Rama to Sita acquiesced.

Categories: the five

Tags: dailyprompt, hare krishna, marriage, poem, poems, poetry, women