Conditioned To Fear Rejection

By krishnasmercy on June 28, 2025 • ( 0 )

“One time, that wicked king of the Daityas saw his son of lotus-like face and beautiful eyes, surrounded by women, having returned from the home of the guru. In his hand, that boy was holding a slate which had the mark of a chakra at the top and the name of Krishna written with great adoration.” (Narasimha Purana, 41.35-36)

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तं पद्मवक्त्रं दैत्येन्द्रः कदाचित् स्त्रीवृतः खलः
बालं गुरुगृहायातं ददर्श स्वायतेक्षणम्
गृहीत्वा तु करे पुत्रं पट्टिका या सुशोभना
मूर्ध्नि चक्राङ्किता पट्टी कृष्णनामाङ्कितादरात्

taṃ padmavaktraṃ daityendraḥ kadācit strīvṛtaḥ khalaḥ
bālaṃ gurugṛhāyātaṃ dadarśa svāyatekṣaṇam
gṛhītvā tu kare putraṃ paṭṭikā yā suśobhanā
mūrdhni cakrāṅkitā paṭṭī kṛṣṇanāmāṅkitādarāt

“Alright, let me begin by acknowledging that I will likely get into a lot of trouble with what I am about to say. I am only telling you this, is that clear? Because the practice is so widespread that as soon as I find something wrong with it, people will be offended. The topic today is love of animals. More specifically, we are talking about people who keep pets in the home. The pets are like their highest object of worship, as I see it. The pets are more important to them than people.

“They will go so far as to admit the same. They like animals more than people. They say that people are mean, vindictive, selfish, and the like. The pets are always there to greet them. The dog is always happy when the man of the house returns home from work. The cat is always ready to give attention to the lady who lives by herself. The pets will never reject the love offered to them. The pets are steady in their presence. That is the reason for the saying about dog being the best friend of a man.

“There is something about the whole thing that doesn’t sit right with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals just as much as the next person. Well, dogs maybe not so much. Not that I have anything against them, but the barking is kind of annoying. I don’t like being hounded during my morning walk through the neighborhood, for instance. Nevertheless, I am both aware of and try to follow the verse from Bhagavad-gita, the one that explains the perspective of the humble sage.

विद्या-विनय-सम्पन्ने
ब्राह्मणे गवि हस्तिनि
शुनि चैव श्व-पाके च
पण्डिताः सम-दर्शिनः

vidyā-vinaya-sampanne
brāhmaṇe gavi hastini
śuni caiva śva-pāke ca
paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ

“The humble sage, by virtue of true knowledge, sees with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste].” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 5.18)

“The issue I have is that it seems these people are just escaping from reality. I heard someone recently say that society has been conditioned to fear rejection. That really resonated with me. The escape in affiliating with pets is because of rejection. Some negative experience. The thing is, the people I see who love pets so much most often treat others quite horribly. They might have young children in the home. Those children are neglected. I have no idea why. I would think the children should take priority. What harm have they ever done to anyone? What can they possibly do to make the parents so upset? They are dependents, after all.

“Anyway, is there not a danger in following spiritual life for the same reasons? Someone has a negative experience with the world. Bitter rejection. Lack of reciprocation. Friends and family turn selfish, while the individual is left all alone. They then turn to God. It is their kind of escape. They will never get rejected, you see. They will never feel pain. They get to worship as much as they want. The object of worship will never turn its back on the worshiper.

“Shouldn’t religion be based on intelligence? Shouldn’t people grow up and realize that this world is dangerous and difficult to navigate? Not everyone is going to be nice. Sometimes people get angry. They say mean things. They do horrible things. Get over it, already. Be an adult. Look inside yourself and see if you have ever done anything to anyone. Don’t just escape to some fairytale land that you created, where there are only animals and statues that don’t speak.”

Whether someone fears rejection or not, separation is the inevitable end. The relationships do not carry forward into the next existence; as far as we know. We also entered this world without any of these relationships. We met people during childhood. We interacted with others during days at school, during long hours at the office, and during times of recreation. Some of those interactions were positive and some were not.

The relationship with the Almighty never has to end. The Sanskrit words are ahaituki and apratihata. In pure devotional service, there is no interruption from outside factors. There is also no motivation, since there is nothing specific to be gained. Like a steady friend, always standing by, the Supreme Personality of Godhead remains the constant companion of the loving individual.

गतिर्भर्ता प्रभु: साक्षी निवास: शरणं सुहृत्
प्रभव: प्रलय: स्थानं निधानं बीजमव्ययम्

gatir bhartā prabhuḥ sākṣī
nivāsaḥ śaraṇaṁ suhṛt
prabhavaḥ pralayaḥ sthānaṁ
nidhānaṁ bījam avyayam

“I am the goal, the sustainer, the master, the witness, the abode, the refuge and the most dear friend. I am the creation and the annihilation, the basis of everything, the resting place and the eternal seed.” (Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita, 9.18)

We have the ideal example in Prahlada Maharaja. His only means of connection was utilizing objects given to him. These were provided for other purposes. In the case of the slate, the affiliation was education. Prahlada was beginning to attend school. He was five years old. He could not necessarily travel to a temple, sit down for a lecture on the science of self-realization, or prepare for an elaborate yajna, which is formal sacrifice.

Prahlada utilized what was available. He drew a symbol of Vishnu on a slate. He wrote a name of Vishnu on the same slate. He worshiped through the vision of the chakra and the beautifully decorated name of Krishna. There was nothing particular to be gained. There was also no chance of rejection. Despite the father objecting, Prahlada could stay connected. The father and the entire kingdom under him worked to undermine Prahlada, but the devotional link remained intact.

“In the conditional state, every living being is envious of another living being, but in the liberated state there is an absence of animosity. Prahlada Maharaja was tortured by his father in so many ways, yet after the death of his father he prayed for his father’s liberation by the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He did not ask any benediction that he might have asked, but he prayed that his atheistic father might be liberated. He never cursed any of the persons who engaged in torturing him at the instigation of his father.” (Shrila Prabhupada, Shrimad Bhagavatam, 3.14.46 Purport)

His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada explains that the liberated state features the absence of animosity. This means that even if we take to worship as a means of escaping rejection, if we proceed in a dedicated vow, dridha-vrata, we will actually learn to appreciate everything and everyone. We will see their link to Divinity, in the spark of spirit animating the body. We will see that they are a life force, part and parcel of the Supreme Living Being, who is God.